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Johnny..... John Cusack French Immigrant.....Ana Gasteyer Sonny.....Jimmy Fallon Joey.....Seth Meyers Jason.....Jeff Richards Denis.....Horatio Sanz Billy.....Chris Parnell Frank.....Darrell Hammond (Johnny and Immigrant walk in the restarant) Johnny: Ahh! Great place, isn’t it? French Immigrant: Yes! Johnny: Right, let’s sit down. French Immigrant: Okay, something smells like merde du chien in here. Sonny: What? French Immigrant: merde du chien! Sonny: I’m sorry, there is no Shen anyone is married to! May I get you a drink? Johnny: Yes, a Pepsi and another Pepsi. Sonny: Okay! Two Pepsis! Johnny: I ordered Two Pepsis for us French Immigrant: (loudly) merde du chien. Joey: There is no Shen that anybody is married to, so stop saying Married to Shen. Johnny: She’s French! Joey: Oh, really! Johnny: Yeah! Joey: I can see that! Jason: Right! Here are your Pepsis! What would you like to eat? Johnny: Two cheeseburgers!! Jason: Okay!! Johnny: See them! They are nice, you are saying something in French, and I know what it is! French Immigrant: Good! (Even louder, you guessed it) merde du chien! Denis: There is no Shen here! Nobody is married to a Shen, what kind of a name is Shen anyway? Johnny: I don’t know! What kind of a freakin’ butt name is it!! Denis: Okay! Here are your burgers! (Everybody comes out) Sonny: I know! There are so many problems with this immigrant! Joey: Yeah I can hear her in the back!! Jason: Me too! There is no Shen here THAT ANYBODY IS MARRIED TOO!! Denis: I’m going to go work! Sonny, Joey and Jason: We’re in! Johnny: Those guys are dumb! French Immigrant: (as loud as can be) merde du chien! Denis: All right! I’ve had it! Billy, get in here! Billy: Yes! Denis: This lady keeps saying Married to Shen or something in French, and she is saying it louder every time we tell her there is no Shen. Billy: Okay, sir, can I talk to this immigrant, please? Johnny: Sure! Billy: Now, ma’am, why are you saying "Married to Shen"? French Immigrant: merde du chien! Merde du chien! Billy: Okay! What does that mean in French? French Immigrant: Dog poop! Billy: (yelling) YOU ARE SAYING THAT OUR FOOD SMELLS LIKE DOG POOP!!!!!! French Immigrant: Yes! Billy: Okay, watch this! FRANK, GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE, NOW! Frank: What is it, Billy? Billy: Frank, this immigrant is saying that our food smells like dog poop, but she is saying it in French! Frank: Oh my god! This is not what I wanted today! Billy: Okay! You, sir, and this immigrant GET OUTTA HERE, SAYING OUR FOOD SMELLS LIKE DOG POOP! (Workers gasp) All: Dog Poop! (Title: "Later that day") French Immigrant: (walks by restaurant she and Johnny just got kicked out of) merde du chien! Billy: Hey! I heard that! I’ll be right back! (Goes outside) I heard you, you stinky, restaurant worker insulting French immigrant! French Immigrant: (screams) (Billy chases her until she and Johnny fall into the fountain) Billy: Bye Bye! Rate or review this sketch. |
