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Spokesman...Seth Meyers
Woman...Maya Rudolph
(OPEN UP ON A WOMAN EATING A "THIN" LOOKING BOWL OF SOUP. A SPOKESMAN ENTERS THE SCENE.) Spokesman: Excuse me ma'am, whatcha eating there? Woman: Oh, it's just some soup (MAN INSPECTS SOUP) Spokesman: It doesn't look like much. Woman: I suppose I could have something better. (MAN GRABS A CAN OF SOUP) Spokesman: Maybe you should try some of this... Woman: "Chunky Soup"? What's in it? Spokesman: Beats me, All I know is that there's stuff in this soup...unlike yours. (CUT TO A SHOT OF THE "SOUP" BEING POURED OUT OF THE CAN) Spokesman: (OFFSTAGE) "Chunky Soup" does live up to its name however, there are big chunks of "who knows what" in every can. It's like you're eating a big bowl of gravy. (CUT BACK TO KITCHEN) Here honey, try some. (MAN GIVES WOMAN BOWL OF "CHUNKY SOUP", WOMAN RELUCTANTLY TAKES A BITE/SIP.) Woman: (FEIGNED) Mmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmm! It's Soupendous! (REALIZES SHE CRUNCHES ON SOMETHING ROCK HARD.) OW! What was that? (WOMAN SPITS OUT WHAT SHE BIT INTO.) Spokesman: Oh don't worry about it, honey! It's only some nuts and bolts. Woman: Oh, god! how can they get away with this? Spokesman: (CHUCKLES) I don't know, dear. I just don't know! (CHUCKLES) (CUT TO A SHOT OF SOME SOUP CANS) Announcer: "Chunky Soup": "You'll really never know what you're gonna get." Available in "Soup to Nuts (And Bolts)", "Penny Penne Pasta", and our newest flavor "East River Bistro." (FADE OUT) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
