|
|
|
|
|
|
|
V/O…Chris Parnell Father…Jeff Richards Mother…Rachel Dratch Teenage Daughter…Sarah Michelle Gellar Nine-year-old boy…extra Two-year-old boy…extra V/O: On October 30th, Get ready for a new reality show on NBC, from the makers of all those other shitty ones. Never before have you experienced something so twisted, so unpredictable, and such an indicator that we’ve run out of even remotely good ideas and are now pulling them out of our ASSES! Get ready to Meet YOUR Folks on NBC’s newest reality series where children are tested by their parents to see who is still worthy of living in their homes. If you thought mom grilling you about the phone bill was bad wait until we bring out the LIE DETECTOR! (echo: DETECTOR…DETECTOR…DETECTOR.) (cut to: teenage girl sitting at a chair back faced to them but in front of camera. She is hooked up to lie detector.) Mother: Are you responsible for the 50 dollars worth or three-way calls on our phone bill, missy? Teenage Girl: No moms, I gots my cell phizzzzone right chere, no need to use y’alls. So don’t hate I’m tryin to communicate! Dad: I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand you behind the Ebonics…did you or did you not make those three-way calls?? Girl: I didn’t holmes! (man sitting at lie detector gives parents a thumb down indicating that it was a lie.) (back to voice over) V/O: And don’t think we’ve stopped there…even the little ones get it! (child about 2 sites in the same chair as his sister, hooked up to the lie detector.) Mother: (clears throat) First question…Do you like my meat loaf? Child: (repeating what she said.) MEAT LOAF! (Guy at lie detector gives a thumbs down once again.) (mother has shocked look on her face, camera cuts to the next child, about nine, sitting in the “interrogation chair”) Mother: Have you been watching the Anna Nicole Smith show? Boy: Who? Dad: You know…that chick who used to be hot but then started screwing old guys and turned into a fat whore who will hump her couch to get some action! Mother: (glares at husband) Dad: Hey! It wasn’t me! Boy: Well, it wasn’t me either, I sware. I think it was grandpa. (man at lie detector gives thumbs down) (back to voice-over, words appear on screen) V/O: TWO PARENTS… ONE LIE DETECTOR… THREE CHILDREN Only one of which will continue living with their parents. (back to family: parents are saying good-bye to the two losing children who have suitcases packed up. Nine-year-old boy is holding a pillow and two year old has a teddy. The surviving child, teenage girl, is sitting on the couch obviously talking to two other people on the phone. Two year old is crying, nine year old has an angry look on his face.) Father: Well kids, it’s been nice knowin’ ya! Mother: Don’t for get to say good-bye to grandpa! (they look over at grandpa who is sitting on a reclinable chair) Boy: But mommmm….he’s got a boner! (Grandpa is laughing hysterically as he watches the Anna Nicole Smith show) V/O: Meet YOUR Folks coming to NBC on October 30th. Due to the content of this show, parental discretion is advised. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
