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.....J.P. Ragan .....Patrick Lonergan [Scene: A dressing room scene. It's elaborately decorated. There are flowers and cookies on a small table. There is a poster on the wall as well. J.P. is hanging a large banner that reads 'Welcome back Britney!'] (Super 'Earlier this week') [Enter Patrick] Patrick Lonergan: Hey J.P....whatcha doin? J.P. Ragan: Oh hi there Patrick. Just getting Britney's dressing room ready. I want her to feel as comfy as possible. I can't believe she's gonna host SNY this weekend. Patrick Lonergan: Yeah it's great...I guess. (looking around the room) Looks like you did a lot of work here. J.P. Ragan: Yeah, well nothing's too good for Britney. Check out the banner. I stayed up all night working on it...but I think you'll agree it's worth it. Patrick Lonergan: Uhhh yeah, it's nice but I think you spelled her name wrong. It's supposed to be B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y. J.P. Ragan: (shaking his head) Ha ha. Ahhh Patrick. you'd be surprised how many people make that mistake. Believe me, I spelled it right. I've got a copy of her birth certificate.(awkward silence.) Hey, check this out. Chocolate chip cookies. I baked them myself. They're her favorite.(J.P. cuddles the cookies.) Patrick Lonergan: (aside)Man, and I thought Kilduff was nuts. (to J.P.) Okay then...I think I'll just see myself out.(glances at wall) Wait a minute...is this an N'sync poster? J.P. Ragan: Yeah, I thought she'd get a kick out of it. (giddy) See I drew moustaches on all the memebers...heh heh...well except for Joey cause he already had one.(shaking fist at poster) Stupid Joey Fatone! Anyways, notice the (smiling widely and gesturing with thumb)especially large moustache on our friend Justin Timberfake here. I think she'll like that, don't you? Patrick Lonergan: Oh okay. Look J.P. I think you're a bit mixed up. This week's host is Brittany Murphy. J.P. Ragan: Britney Spears? Patrick Lonergan: No. (slowly) Brittany Murphy. J.P. Ragan: Who the hell is Brittany Murphy? Patrick Lonergan: She's an actress. J.P. Ragan: (distraught) An actress? I never heard of her. (stomping his foot.) Geez, it's been months since SNY has had a host I've heard of. Britney Spears I think we all know and love but Brittany Murphy? What... does she do obscure art films or something. Patrick Lonergan: Actually, she's starring in "8 Mile" with Eminem. It's a huge movie. J.P. Ragan: Eminem? Who or what the hell is an Eminem? Patrick Lonergan: C'mon. you must have seen the promos for "8 Mile". It's the one with the guy who raps his way out of poverty. you know, 'U better lose yourself in the music' and so on. J.P. Ragan: Are you talking about that movie with Ricky Schroeder? Patrick Lonergan: That's the one. Only he calls himself Eminem now. Anyways, Brittany Murphy plays the chick in that movie. J.P. Ragan: (choked up) Okay. Okay I can deal with this. No I can't. I gotta get outta here. (looking around the room. Tears down banner. Tearing down N'Sync poster) And I'm taking this with me. [Exit J.P. with poster and banner trailing behind him] [Patrick shakes his head and sighs. He grabs a cookie, takes a bite, then nods his head approvingly and picks up bowl. He walks out the doorway, clicking the lights off. The door closes.] [Fade out to picture of Brittany Murphy posing in a sexy manner] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
