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Manuel.....Fred Armisen Rico.....Darrell Hammond Orlando.....Horatio Sanz .....Jeff Gordon [Scene: Super some TV-type logo and then fade to kid show type setup. Manuel is standing in the foreground. Rico and Orlando sit at a table, checkered tablecloth etc., staring angrily at one another. Super 'The Manuel Ortega Show'] Manuel: (pre-recorded voiceover) And now back to the show! Manuel: Hello, welcome back my friends! Now we are going to learn about something we call sharing. You see my friends Rico and Orlando back there? Well they decided to share this jar of nuts. (pantomine) Rico ate one nut, then Orlando he eat a nut. Sounds good yes. Yes and no! (hands on face) No because there is now one peanut left and they are fighting over it. (motioning towards the two at the table) Let's have a look my friends. Rico: (pointing) That is my peanut. Orlando: No. That peanut is my peanut. Rico: This peanut...is my peanut. Orlando: This peanut (waving finger) is not your peanut...it is my peanut. Rico: The peanut is my peanut. Orlando: The peanut...this peanut right here. That peanut is my peanut. Manuel: Aye yaye yaye! What can we do? [Enter Jeff Gordon] Manuel: Hey look kids, it's Jeff Gordon! Jeff Gordon can you help my friends? Jeff Gordon: I'd be happy to, Manuel. They just need to share. Manuel: But how Jeff Gordon? They tried to share but now there is only one nut left! (Home Alone hands on face expression into camera) It is hopeless, Jeff Gordon. Jeff Gordon: Sharing always works. Sometimes you just have to be a little creative. [Jeff Gordon reaches down and seperates the peanut into two half pieces.] Manuel: Oh, Jeff Gordon, you are so smart. I'll bet they could use your help over in the Middle East. Jeff Gordon: Heh, I'd love to help them out, Manuel, but driving cars keeps me pretty busy. Manuel: Well thank you for taking some time out to visit us. Jeff Gordon: For you Manuel, any time. Rico: (loudly) Jeff Gordon! (getting to feet) You son of a bitch, you wrecked my peanut! Orlando: (enraged) MY PEANUT! [Rico pulls out a knife.] Rico: I CUT YOU! [Rico stabs Jeff Gordon who then falls out of scene.] Manuel: What did you do? You're crazy. That wasn't even a real peanut. Rico: Oh right. Sorry, I'm a method actor man, what can I say. Orlando you were dyno-mite. Orlando: Oh it was all you man. [Jeff Gordon gets to his feet and back into scene.] Manuel: (giving thumbs up to camera) He's okay! Jeff Gordon: (clutching his side which is gushing blood) No, I'm not! Manuel: (smiling at camera) Well I hope you learned a lot today my friends. Hasta manana! [Super TV station logo. Fade out.] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
