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Announcer.....Chris Parnell Woman.....Maya Rudolph Man.....Will Forte (A graphic featuring a a swirling NBC peacock is shown.) Announcer: Now, you can spice up your family meals the NBC way, with our new line of NBC Cookbooks! (Five cookbook covers appear, with the logos of SNL, Fear Factor, Will & Grace, West Wing and Providence) Announcer: With the NBC Cookbook collection, you can eat like the celebrities of all your favorite NBC stars! Your first cookbook is the Will & Grace Fabulously Flaming Hot Food book, with such delectable goodies as the Karen Walker Party Platter... (a graphic of Megan Mullally as Karen is shown. She is smiling as she holds up a plate loaded down with a bottle of vodka and brown prescription vials) and the Grace Adler Coffee & Krispy Kreme Smoothie. (Debra Messing amongst a blender, a pot of coffee and a stack of donuts) (Cut to Maya and Will, who are drinking the mixture.) Woman: Mmm! This is great coffee and donuts! Man: It's so good, I think I'm turning gay! Announcer: Wait, there's more! Make memories and great meals with the Saturday Night Live Cookbook! Treat yourself to Massive Headwound Harry's Wedding Cookies... (a picture of Dana Carvey as Harry, serving a plate of blood-covered cookies to a frightened couple.) But don't spoil your appetite! Make sure you leave room for Lord & Lady Douchebag's Summer Salad... (a plate of lettuce and a bottle of clear liquid is shown)... and, of course, Schweddy Balls. Cut to Maya, just finishing up stuffing a ball in her mouth. Woman: (muffles) Yum! These have been the best balls I've ever tasted in my life! They're so spicy and filling! And I love the cream-filled centers! Announcer: Order today, and you'll also receive a copy of the cookbooks from Providence and The West Wing... and you'll be able to make President Bartlet's Right-Wing-Duck a l'orange... (photo of a glazed duck is shown) as well as Syd's Heavenly Hallucination Ice Cream. (a photo of Melina Kanakaredes beside a dish of vanilla ice cream) Announcer: And, of course, you'll also receive a copy of the fastest-selling NBC-licensed product, Secrets from the Fear Factor Kitchen: 1001 Ways to Cook Animal Testicles! Cut to Will and Maya, eating from a plate of small spherical offerings. Man: Mmmmmmmm---mmm-mm! These reindeer testicles are much better than I thought they'd be! Woman: You're right there! They're so... rich and... what's the word? Man: Nutty? Woman: That's it! Nutty! Announcer: So, what are you waiting for? (Another image of all five cookbooks are shown.) Announcer: Send a check for forty-nine-ninety-five to: NBC Cookbooks 30 Rockefeller Center. Act now and receive as a special bonus, an autographed pair of Al Roker's old pants! This offer provided by your good friends at NBC! (The ding-ding-dong logo sound plays.) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
