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...Ray Liotta ...Mark Jennings Reese II (Fade in) Ray Liotta: Hello! Thank you, for that! My name is Ray Liotta and I am an actor. I guess you already knew that. I'm kind of new to this comedy thing. I just got done doing this intense flick with Jason Patric called “NARC”. Yeah, it's getting some real attention from the Academy and the press. I think it's my year! I got this movie now that I am working on with John Cusack…I'm really having...(cut off by Mark Jennings Reese II) Mark Jennings Reese II: Wow! Easy tiger! I wouldn't get your hopes up. You might be good in your new movie, but don't think the academy isn't gonna look at your past work. Ray Liotta: Who are you? Mark Jennings Reese II: I'm Mark Jennings Reese II, a future star of this show, once Lorne approves my Weekend Update talents. That and getting in fights with the guests and typecasting Tracy Morgan as a guy who stays out of the conversation and just says things like “That is whack!” and “This is hilarious!” Ray Liotta: Okay, What about my past work, you think the academy isn't gonna look at my work, kindly? Mark Jennings Reese II: Yeah, man. I saw NARC; it wasn't bad. But think about this…what were you thinking when you chose to work with Whoopi Goldberg in “Corrina, Corrina”? That was a pile of crap – let me tell you! (Ray makes a fist and attempts to scare Reese with it) Please, Mr. Liotta, don't hurt me! Don't! I already got bitch punched by Avril Lavigne last week. (Ray grabs Reese by the neck and starts to force him) Ray Liotta: Okay, say I'm the best actor in America! Mark Jennings Reese II: You're the best actor in America! Ray Liotta: That's right! Mark Jennings Reese II: But, Mr. Liotta, tell me what were you thinking during the filming of “Operation Dumbo Drop”? (Ray holds Reese's neck even tighter) I'm sorry! Ray Liotta: Fine, tell me you are a woman and that you have to sit when you pee! Mark Jennings Reese II: Dude, you're fucked up! Ray Liotta: Say it! Mark Jennings Reese II: Okay, I'm a woman! I have to sit when I pee! Ray Liotta: That's better! Now tell the audience that we have a great show! Mark Jennings Reese II: We have a great show! (Ray lets go of Reese) Yeah, so stick around, we'll be right back! Ray Liotta: Those are my lines, you ass! (Ray whacks Reese over the head and Reese falls to the stage floor) Mark Jennings Reese II: God, now I know what Chevy must a felt doing the fall each weak! Ray Liotta: Lorne! Better get a medic out here! The Donnas are here! We'll be right back! (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
