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Mother.....Maya Rudolph Little Girl.....child actor Cashier.....Amy Poehler Voiceover.....Chris Parnell (opens up oustide of a drug store where a van pulls up into the parking lot. Inside, a mother and her daughter sit) Mother: Okay, let's see...I need to get your tummy medicine, and daddy's vitamins. Hmm...It feels like I'm forgetting something... Little Girl: Can I have a candy bar? Mother: No, Hannah. Don't you remember what the doctor said? Now, we need to be in and out, so don't be bugging me to buy you a bunch of stuff because I'm not going to do it, okay? Little Girl: ...okay. (cuts to inside of the drug store where the mother is waiting in line) Cashier: Hello, what do you need? Mother: I would like to get this filled, please. (hands the cashier a piece of paper) Cashier: Yes, Ma'am. It'll be a few minutes. (Cashier walks away. The little girl walks up to her mother and tugs on her shirt) Little Girl: Mommy! (she acts impatient) Mommy! Mother: Not right now, Hannah. Little Girl: Mommy! I have a secret! Mother: Hannah, Mommy's doing business! Go look at the ornaments! Little Girl: But Mommy!!! (the mother turns around) Mother: Okay, what is it? (the little girl sighs) Little Girl: Never mind, now. (the girl turns around, begins to walk awkwardly as she starts rubbing the seat of her shorts) Mother: Oh my God. (Cashier comes back with the prescription) Cashier: Here you go, Ma'am. Mother: (she talks fast) Uh...Thank you! (she grabs the prescription and quickly throws some money on the counter) Hannah! We're leaving now! Come on! Cashier: Thank you, come again! (cashier smells the air)...What's that smell? (cuts to outside. The mother quickly walks to the car. The little girl tries to keep up, but the poop falls out of her shorts and onto the concrete) Little Girl: Whoops! Mother: Oh no!! Little Girl: Sorry, mommy! Mother: Hurry up! Get in the car! ...Move it!! (they both get in, the car speeds off) Little Girl: (from inside the car) It stinks in here, mommy! (mother closes her eys in embarrassment. Screen freezes) Voiceover: Sound familiar? If you're a parent it probably does! (relapses the scene where the little girl's poop falls out of her shorts) Voiceover: Hey! Don't just leave it there! That's disgusting! Get "Kiddie Scoop"!! Mother: Kiddie Scoop? What's that? Voiceover: The answer to your problem! (a "pooper scooper" and a trash bag magically appears in her hands) Mother: Woa! How did you do that? Voiceover: Don't ask me, I'm just a voiceover! Now go ahead! Pick up the poop! (she does so ) Mother: Wow! That was really easy! But what about my car? It really stinks in there! Voiceover: Not to worry! Every box of "Kiddie Scoop" includes a free can of Glade! (a can of Glade magically appears in her hand. She sprays her car and then inhales) Mother: Hmmm...Refreshing Apple! Voiceover: Now, have we learned our lesson? Mother: I sure have! Little Girl: Thank you Mister! Voiceover: You're welcome, little girl! And you may want to take it easy on the Apple Juice, next time! (Cuts to a white screen with a box of Kiddie Scoop in the center) Voiceover: Save the embarrassment!! When your kids go poop, get Kiddie Scoop!! (fades to black) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
