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Carson Daly...Jimmy Fallon George W. Bush...Chris Parnell OUTKAST Dre...Dean Edwards Big Boi...Tracy Morgan (Fade in) (Opening montage of “Last Call with Carson Daly”) Carson Daly: Hello, I’m Carson Daly and you are watching Last Call with me, Carson Daly. If you’re watching this show, that means its 1:35am and there are no skin flicks on Showtime. (Canned Laugh) Okay, we got a great show tonight. President George W. Bush is on his way out and as musical guest tonight, we have OUTKAST! Yo, that’s mad wicked dope! And now, it is my honor to present the President of the United States, President George “Dubya” Bush! (Enter Bush; mixed applause of the audience) George W. Bush: It’s great to be here, Carson. It really is! My girls just love your show. Carson Daly: Really? George W. Bush: Yeah, my daughters are always up at 2 in the morning because they are always drinking with their friends! They take after me. (Laughs) Carson Daly: Dope, dope, dope! I caught your address Thursday night. I think it took mad guts to talk to America and cut into a new episode of “Friends”. Pure guts on that one! George W. Bush: I think it was really important to address the nation on the current situation with Saddam Hussein. (Directly into the camera) We will prevail! Carson Daly: Yeah! God, this is great! Umm...I gotta ask you something, whom are we going to war with? George W. Bush: Carson, you are some sort of moron? Don’t you read the papers? Carson Daly: Yeah, right the papers...what papers? George W. Bush: Never mind! My fellow Americans...(cut off by Carson) Carson Daly: Mr. President, there are only about 15 people actually watching this show right now. George W. Bush: What about the audience? Carson Daly: They are only here for Outkast. George W. Bush: Damn it…My fellow Americans, who ever is watching...The Easter Bunny, Tony Blair, Joan Rivers, whoever...if we go to war with Iraq, we will prevail! We must show the United Nations, France and those other guys that American is a nation of arrogant, egomaniacs that have money management problems. We will prevail! And to you hippie student who walked out of school on Wednesday, I got your names and I got your numbers, I am coming down on you! Carson Daly: Mr. President, that’s Genesis. (Outkast is in the background setting up their instruments) George W. Bush: Shut it Rick Dees. America, I am number one! I am the king of America! Feel my wrath! I am the king of America! I am the king of America! Oh, yeah – this for you Saddam Hussein...hit it Dre! (Outkast strikes up “Bombs over Baghdad”) Saddam, get ready for it! Dre: 1, 2. 1, 2, 3! Yeah! Big Boi: Inter-national, underground! (Carson runs up to the camera and yells) Carson Daly: I’m Carson Daly and I like the sound of my own voice! Good night! (Outkast & Dubya play into the commercial) (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
