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...Queen Latifah ...Steve Martin Don Pardo: Ladies and Gentlemen, Queen Latifah! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Queen Latifah: Word Up, Yo! Word Up, It's great to be back in my hometown doing SNL, y'all!...(APPLAUSE) A lot of you might know me as this big ole' hip-hop star, but recently I've been tasting a lot of sweet, sweet movie roles. Most Recently, "Chicago", (APPLAUSE) Yeah! And tonight, I'm here to plug another movie that's recieving a lot of buzz, it's with Steve Martin and me, and it's called "Bringing Down the House." (APPLAUSE) Now I've performed in front of a lot of live audiences before, but never on this scale. I had this classic case of stage fright going on, when just before we're on--this is going to sound Crazy--but Steve Martin actually called me up, told me that it's going to be fine, that he's been through it many times before, and basically to have a good time. Well y'know what, I am going to have the best damn time anyone can ever have, I swear! And...(APPLAUSE) Thank you... (APPLAUSE SWELLS UP LOUDER AS STEVE MARTIN APPROACHES THE STAGE.) Queen Latifah: Uh, Hi Steve. Steve Martin: Hi Queen, what up, dog? Queen Latifah: (CHUCKLES A BIT) I'm fine, What are you doing here exactly? Steve Martin: Oh, don't mind me, I'm just doing another Cameo. Queen Latifah: Uh, any reason why? Steve Martin: No big reason, did you plug the movie yet? Queen Latifah: Well, of course I did, It was Our movie. Steve Martin: (CHUCKLES) Good, then I've got nothing else to do for this cameo. Queen Latifah: So let me get this straight, You're just standing out here plugging the very same movie that I just made a plug for? Man, no offense, but doesn't that seem even a little conceited? Steve Martin: Well, one day when your as big as I am, you'll understand. Queen Latifah: (ANGERED) "As Big as you?" You did not just go there! (PROCEEDS TO GRAB STEVES ARM AND TWISTS IT, STEVE IS UNDOUBTEDLY IN PAIN.) Queen Latifah: Now tell me why you're really here! Steve Martin: Ow, ow, ow! OK, just let go! (QUEEN LETS GO) Look, I've been doing this show since it's infancy. The last time I hosted was in '94, and by then I had a lot of movies under my belt, (MELONCHOLLY PIANO MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND)Whenever the people at the show call me, My ears are burning, hoping to come back to this spot on stage, but all they ever want is a ratings grabbing cameo. Since then, I've been reduced to just doing cameos. And even those are few and far between! When I did my most recent cameo a few weeks ago, I felt good. I felt good in a way that I never felt good before, I must have clocked the applause at a couple of minutes, maybe an hour... Queen Latifah: Uh, Steve, you might be pushing it just a little bit there. (PIANO MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) Steve Martin: Just work with me here on this one, please? (MUSIC CONTINUES) Anyway, It just felt god being in front of an audience again. And I hope that you enjoy these precious 80+ remaining minutes, cause... (STARTS TO BREAK DOWN) It's the sweetest time there is on TV, and...(LOSES CONTROL) I'm sorry!... (STEVES HEAD IS ON QUEEN LATIFAH'S SHOULDER.) Queen Latifah: Wait, just a minute! I know what you're doing, You're just doing this to garner up an Emmy nomination, aren't you? (PIANO MUSIC STOPS AGAIN) Steve Martin: (TOTALLY CHANGES HIS MOOD) OK, you caught me. That and I want to plug that I will be hosting the 75th Annual Academy Awards On Sunday March 23rd, so You and I will be seeing each other once again! Won't that be fun? Queen Latifah: Steve, I love you, but you're one messed up dude, you know that? Steve Martin: "Well, Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssseeee Meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" (RUNS OFF IN A HUFF, CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.) Queen Latifah: Y'know the sad thing about that, is that he's not getting paid for this cameo. Anyway, we got a killer show for you tonight, "Ms. Dynamite" Is in the Hiz-ouse! (APPLAUSE) So hang tight, we'll be right back! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
