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INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY A woman by the name of ROBYN HOOD is with a nice FEMALE EMPLOYEE at a customer service desk. Robyn is buying a blouse. FEMALE EMPLOYEE That’ll be $15.65. Robyn writes out a check and hands it to the Female Employee. She looks at it. FEMALE EMPLOYEE (CONT’D) Your name’s Robyn Hood? ROBYN Yeah. FEMALE EMPLOYEE I bet people talk about your name all the time. ROBYN Yeah they do. It used to bother me but not so much anymore. FEMALE EMPLOYEE (handing Robyn her blouse in a bag) Okay, well. There you go. Have a nice day now. ROBYN Thank you. Robyn leaves and the Female Employee drops the kind face. She pulls out a walkie-talkie. EMPLOYEE (to walkie-talkie) She just left and is heading downstairs. I repeat. She has just left the customer service desk and is going back to the first floor. INT. ELEVATOR IN STORE - DAY The actual ROBIN HOOD is there with his Merry Men, GEORGE-A-GREENE, the big buff LITTLE JOHN, and FRIAR TUCK. They all wear their legendary clothes and carry bows and arrows. ROBIN HOOD (to walkie-talkie) Okay. We’ll be right on it. Thanks Maid Marion. (to Merry Men) All right, boys. This is the big one. We can’t have some impostor going around claiming to be Robin Hood. I’m Robin Hood! So does everyone know what to do? GEORGE-A-GREENE Ah, what do I do again? ROBIN HOOD Okay, George-A-Greene. I want you to go to hardware. Little John, you go to bedding and pick me up some towels if there are any on sale. Good Friar Tuck, lingerie, and don’t get any funny ideas. So now does everyone know what to do? Everyone shakes their head yes. ROBIN HOOD (CONT’D) All right. You guy’s ready? Let’s go. Robin presses the elevator door open button. Nothing happens. Everyone just sort of looks around at each other. After about fifteen seconds of this... LITTLE JOHN Um...isn’t the door supposed to open? ROBIN HOOD Give it time. Give it time. This is an old store. Everything here works backwards. FRIAR TUCK (all ballistic) We’re gonna die! We’re gonna die! ROBIN HOOD Get a hold of yourself, Friar. That’s no way for a churchman to talk. FRIAR TUCK Oh screw the church! We’re gonna die! GEORGE-A-GREENE Does anybody else notice the walls getting closer? ROBIN HOOD Now look everybody. That’s enough! The door’s just stuck. We’ll get outta here. LITTLE JOHN What about the other Robin Hood? ROBIN HOOD Don’t worry about her. She ain’t going to get away. EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY Robyn is putting her bags in the backseat of her car. She then gets in, turns the key, and drives away. FADE OUT. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
