Man...Seth Meyers
Woman...Tina Fey
(OPEN ON A WILD PARTY, MUSIC BLAIRS LOUDLY, A MAN AND A WOMAN ARE SEEN GETTING DRINKS AT A BAR.)
Both: Two Please...(LOOKS AT EACH OTHER) Oh!
Man: Hi.
Woman: Hi.
Man: So whatcha' doing?
Woman: Just Chillin' out, how bout you?
Man: Same Here. So...Are you with anybody?
Woman: No, I'm going stag tonight.
Man: Me too! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Woman: Well...
Man: Don't worry, I've got protection.
Woman: Well, if you put it that way...
(MAN AND WOMAN CASUALLY WALK HAND IN HAND TO A ROOM MARKED "PRIVATE". THEY ENTER, THE SOUNDS OF A BED SQUEAKING CAN BE HEARD, TIME LAPSE, SUPER: 45 MINUTES LATER, THE SQUEAKING CONTINUES. THE MAN IS NOW SEEN SNORING AS THE WOMAN CONTINUES.)
Woman: Hey!
Man: Zzzzzzzz!
Woman: Wake Up!
Man: Oh, wha...Is it over already?
Woman: Nothing's happened yet! What's wrong?
Man: This is going to sound Strange, But I'm not feeling anything!
Woman: You don't think for a moment...
(BOTH LOOK OVER AT A PACKET OF CONDOMS, MUSIC FADES UP: THE ROLLING STONES' "SATISFACTION")
Man: God Damnit!
(MAN AND WOMAN LEAVE THE ROOM AWKWARDLY)
Announcer: (SUPER) Condoms, you just can't get no satisfaction. Paid for by the "National Association for the Sexaholics of Today and Yesterday",
(FADE OUT)
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