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Man...Fred Armisen Woman...Amy Poehler (OPEN ON A RESTAURANT IN PARIS, FRANCE. A COUPLE ARE SEEN ENAMORED WITH EACH OTHER.) Man: Gina, I was thinking, since we're here in the "City of Love", I was thinking that we should take the next step and "Consumate" our love here tonight! Woman: Oh, Thomas! I'd love to! But you have to promise me something. Man: What's that baby? Woman: Promise me that you'll wear protection. Man: Don't worry, I came prepared. (THEY KISS, CUT TO A HOTEL ROOM. THEY COUPLE IS SEEN MAKING LOVE.) Woman: Oh Baby! Man: Oh yeah, that's the stuff! Woman: Yes, yes, yes! (A LOUD KA-BOOM IS HEARD) Man: What the hell? Woman: (LOOKS DOWN, GASP) Oh my God! (ANGRY) That's it, I'm leaving! Man: Gina, where are you going? Woman: I'm going back home, and you can find your own way! Man: But honey, be reasonable! These things happen! Woman: Don't "Honey" me you dirty son-of-a-bitch! If I wind up pregnant again, I'll kill you! Man: But Gina, listen to me! (YELLING DOWN THE HALLWAY) How the hell was I supposed to know that the condom was a promotional item from Firestone!? (PEOPLE FROM AROUND THE HOTEL STARE AT THE EMBARRASSED MAN, MAN SLINKS BACK INTO THE HOTEL ROOM. MUSIC FADES UP: ROLLING STONES' "SATISFACTION".) Announcer: Condoms: Watch out, sometimes they're gonna blow! Paid for by the "National Association for the Sexaholics of Today and Yesterday." (FADE OUT) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
