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...Maya Rudolph ...Christina Aguilera ...Tracy Morgan ...Lorne Michaels Announcer...Don Pardo ...Seth Meyers (Fade in) (Setting: Maya Rudolph’s dressing room) (Knock at the door; Maya answers the door, Christina Aguilera appears) Maya Rudolph: Hey Christina, can I help you? Christina Aguilera: Yeah, can we sit down? Maya Rudolph: Sure. (Christina & Maya sit on Maya's couch) What's up? Christina Aguilera: First off, I just want to say, I think your mother was a terrific lady. Maya Rudolph: Thanks. Christina Aguilera: Secondly, I think your impression of me a few weeks ago was really interesting. Umm...but I must ask you, why you choose to impersonate me? I just don't understand what I ever did to you. Maya Rudolph: Well, Christina you have to understand is that when you are in the public eye, institutions like Saturday Night Live and others have the liberty to poke fun at you. It's our job. Christina Aguilera: I see… (Camera pans to the hallway were Tracy Morgan is ease dropping on Maya & Christina's conversation; Tracy manically runs to find Lorne) Tracy Morgan: Lorne! Maya and Christina are fightin'! Lorne Michaels: Tracy, get them on the main stage. We need to settle this feud and we need the ratings! (Tracy Morgan rushes to Maya's dressing room and scares Maya & Christina with his entrance) Tracy Morgan: Lorne wants you two on the main stage! Maya Rudolph: What for? Tracy Morgan: I can't say, I just work for the man. (Camera pans to the main stage) Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Lorne Michaels! (Lorne Michaels enters from left stage) Lorne Michaels: Thank you! (Wild applause) Thank you! And now for the moment you have all been waiting for – what I like to call the battle of the Christinas. (Tracy Morgan drags Christina & Maya on stage) Tracy Morgan: Here you go, Lorne! Lorne Michaels: Lenny, get ready for "Operation Dueling Christina Aguileras". (Tracy Morgan & Lorne Michaels leave the stage) (The SNL Band's drummer starts playing taps) (Seth Meyers enters stage right) Seth Meyers: Ladies and gentlemen, Operation Dueling Christina Aguileras! (Wild applause) First up, the real Christina Aguilera! Christina Aguilera: Okay? (Breaks into a wild 2 note solo) Seth Meyers: That's going to be tough to beat! Maya? (Maya repeats what Christina did) Seth Meyers: What power! Maya Rudolph: Seth, why are Lorne & Tracy doing this? Christina Aguilera: Yeah, I didn't agree to this! Seth Meyers: Lorne, why are you doing this? (Camera pans backstage) Lorne Michaels: (Speaking into a microphone) Ratings! High, high ratings! (Camera pans back to main stage) Maya Rudolph: No, seriously Lorne! Why? (Camera pans backstage) Lorne Michaels: Tracy, why are we doing this? Tracy Morgan: Tell then they can get out of it if Maya makes out with Christina. Lorne Michaels: Okay, I like your thinking. (Into the microphone) The both of you can get out of it if you both make out with each out. (Camera pans back to main stage) (Wild applause) (Maya & Christina look at each other and both smile in agreement) (Christina Aguilera rushes to Maya and French kisses her, hard) (Tracy Morgan rushes on the stage to watch and get in on the action) (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
