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Chuck Chaser....Chris Kattan Hal....Adrian Brody Ginny....Rachel Dratch [A lawyer's office, stacked to the gills with thick books.] Chuck Chaser: Hello. Have you or your loved ones been involved in a Stroller Utility Vehicle accident? Despite pressure by citizens like you, Congress and the U.S. Vehicle Agency have allowed the introduction of massive, oversized baby strollers into the mass market. [quick cuts of several super-stroller brands] Chuck Chaser: If you own a Behemoth Jr., a Goo Goo Gargantua or a Mitsubishi Might-E Mover, you should call me, attorney Chuck Chaser. Even if you haven't had a stroller mishap... that really just means you haven't had a mishap YET. [Cut to exterior, as our young couple struggles greatly to push their stroller, which is half the size of a compact car, down a sidewalk.] Hal: We could have snatched up that cute little Victorian house on the nice, *flat* acre lot but noooooo. We had to live in the hill country. Ginny: Dammit Hal, nobody told me the damn thing weighs nearly 400 pounds! We should have gone for the one with the lawn mower-engine attachment. Hal: What, and let our kid -- excuse me, more accurately YOUR kid -- cry from the racket and choke on the exhaust fumes? Wow, what a smart upgrade! Ginny: Oh, can it. [Cut back to law offices.] Chuck Chaser: Don't let that be you. Call me at 800-NO-WEE-SUV and join my class action suit against these contraptions. Ask for our free brochure which spells out what the manufacturers *don't want you* to know about their dangerous, resource-wasting strollers. [Pull back to reveal Hal and Ginny sitting next to Chaser in the law office.] Hal: Thanks to Chuck, we're suing the makers of Behemoth Jr. for contributing to my slipped disks and lowering our property values. Ginny: [crosses her fingers for good luck] Thanks a million, Chuck Chaser! [Chaser smiles and shakes hands with her, then we fade out.] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
