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Bro #1.....Horatio Sans Bro #2.....Seth Meyers (at a house, around a table with many checks and papers everywhere) Bro #2: It's just one turn of bad luck after another for us, isn't it. Bro #1: I know, man. Bro #2: I mean, it was bad enough when Grandma died, but it wasn't until yesterday, when Uncle Walter died, that I realized our problem. Bro #1: What problem dude? Bro #2: As the only kids in the family, I feel it's our duty to provide a great funeral. But dude, we can't afford TWO coffins! Bro #1: We don't have to man. Bro #2: What do you mean? Bro #1: Check out what I picked up at the store this afternoon. Bro #2: What is it? Bro #1: It's Glad's Disposable Coffin Liners! Bro #2: I didn't know they made such a thing. Bro #1: Sure they did. They look like real coffin liners. They're as frilly as an authentic coffin. All you have to do is put them on the inside of the coffin before the corpse is placed inside. Bro #2: And then what? Bro #1: Then, when you're about to bury the coffin, after everyone has left, just take out the bag, zip the handy glad zipper, and poof, new coffin! Bro #2: But what happens to the body? Bro #1: Well, as the body decomposes, the duro-strength plastic holds all of the parts of the body in one general area. Bro #2: Neat. Bro #1: And it can never be opened after sealed, making it impossible for grave robbers to obtain valuable jewelry worn by the corpse. Bro #2: That's really smart! Bro #1: And if ever hell freezes over, as Grandma said it would, the body is prevented from freezer burn. Bro #2: Even freezer burn? Bro #1: Yeah. And you can reuse that original coffin for years to come. Bro #2: Glad saves the day again! Bro #1: Not a bad idea, huh? Bro #2: No, not at all. And we have more money for more important things. Bro #1: Like the pot! Bro #2: (CHUCKLES TO SELF) Heh, yes, like the pot. (puts his arm around brother with a feeling of accomplishment) Announcer: So when you're loved ones die, and you need money for illegal narcotics; don't get sad, get GLAD! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
