Dan Aykroyd's Monologue written by: Max R. .....Dan Aykroyd .....Chris Parnell .....Tracy Morgan ENTER DAN AYKROYD (applause) Dan Aykroyd: Thank you, thank you everyone. It’s great to be back in studio 8H hosting Saturday Night Live! (applause) You know, it was twenty four years ago that I stood on this stage in my last performance as a cast member, wondering if my decision to leave would be a wise one. I had yet to do “Ghostbusters,” (applause) or “Trading Places” (applause). Tonight, two current cast members will be making their final appearances as cast members. SHOT of CHRIS KATTAN sitting in the front row of the audience wearing a graduation robe and a mortarboard, smiling proudly. Dan Aykroyd V/O: Chris Kattan is a seasoned SNL cast member of seven years. He has delighted us with such characters as Mr. Peepers, Mango, and other effeminate characters. KATTAN looks slightly perturbed by that last comment. SHOT of TRACY MORGAN, seated next to KATTAN in the same outfit. Dan Aykroyd V/O: Tracy Morgan has also been on the show for seven years giving us laughs from characters like Dominican Lou and Brian Fellows, and establishing a name for himself other than “the black guy not named Tim Meadows.” SHOT back to AYKROYD on stage. Dan Aykroyd: Now, as these cast members graduate from the show, I have a few “do’s” and “don’t’s” to pass on to them as they embark upon their careers. (Band plays “Pomp and Circumstance”) DO get together with former cast members to collaborate on films. DON'T milk the cow to death. DO remember to be generous with your new wealth to those less fortunate. DON’T extend that generosity to leather clad women walking the streets late at night. DO find the opportunity to host your own talk show. On second thought, don’t. Finally, DO come back to host Saturday Night Live to relish in your career accomplishments and earn cheap applause. DON'T come back and give career advice after appearing in a flop with a flash in the pan pop star. Dan Aykroyd: Follow that advice, and you’ll be as big as Joe Piscopo. We have a great show for you tonight. Beyonce Knowles is here, so stick around, we’ll be right back! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments Site hosted by jt.org | 05/17/03