|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nikki.....Debra Messing Josh.....Jimmy Fallon Ashley.....Rachel Dratch Seth.....Seth Meyers Mrs. Leeman.....Amy Poehler Mr. Leeman.....Darrell Hammond Philip.....Chris Parnell (Rachel and Debra in horrible 80s prom dresses, shiny material and huge puffy sleeves. Debra has braces and the side ponytail and Rachel has huge glasses and frizzy hair) Nikki: He's not coming Ashley: Of course he's coming Nikki: No he's not, I'm getting stood up at my prom. Ashley: He's not even that late Nikki: It's been two hours! Mrs. Leeman: (suggestively) If he doesn't come in the next twenty minutes you can go with Philip. Ashley: My little brother? Mrs. Leeman: Yeah (what's wrong with that-tone) (go to shot of Philip playing video games and picking his nose) Ashley: I'm sure he's going to show up (to Seth) did you call him? Seth: Yeah, he said.. (door flies open and Jimmy walks in wearing a frilly white sweater with blue high water pants) Josh: I had to get gas Mr. & Mrs. Leeman: Oh, you're here! Josh: Nice to meet you Mr. Leeman, this place is a lot harder to find than the directions make it seem (shakes hand) Mr. Leeman: You get off the freeway and take the first right and it's the first house on the right. Josh: Yeah, see it sounds so easy. Anyway, I just got my license. It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Leeman (kisses her full on the mouth) Ashley & Nikki: (gasp) JOSH! Josh: Ashley (nods to Rachel), Nikki (hugs Debra) I like the dress it makes you look like you got a big round ass. Nikki: Josh! Josh: I'm not gonna lie, it's a little bigger than I usually like but.. I almost forgot, I got you something. Nikki: Really? Josh: I know you're supposed to get a corsage for your date but I thought you know everybody does that and I want to leave an impression, and do something really special. Nikki: Okay.. Josh: So I got you this. (steps aside and there's a three foot tall Lebanon Cedar) Nikki: wow I don't know what to say (in shock) Josh: That's exactly what I was going for. I got you a mini one for a wrist corsage also, just so people wouldn't think that I forgot or did something dumb like that. (holds up a mini Christmas wreath for a corsage) Ashley: Okay, who's ready for dinner? I'm ready, let's go. (everyone agrees and starts heading to the door except Jimmy) Josh: Hey guys, we have reservations in the back Nikki: What? Josh: Well, everyone always said how great a cook Mrs. Leeman is so I thought we'd just enjoy some of that fine cookin'. Nikki: We're not going to a restaurant? Mrs. Leeman: I made chicken fingers with rice-o-roni (they all go and sit at the breakfast nook) Nikki: We couldn't go to a restaurant? Josh: I thought this was more thoughtful. Nikki: No, this is cheaper. It would have been thoughtful if you had cooked. Josh: would you prefer macaroni and cheese to chicken fingers? Because if that's the case I will let the cook know. But I have to say, it's a little rude to change orders after the food's been served. Nikki: No, forget it. Mrs. Leeman: (finishes setting the table) Enjoy kids Josh: (slaps her on the butt) Thanks Mrs. Leeman Ashley: Josh, that's my Mom! Josh: Hey, that's how me and my Uncle Dick tip when we go out to five star eateries. Ashley: Well I don't know what kind of five star eateries do you go to but.. Josh: ChiChis where the food isn't fast but the waitresses are. Seth: I love their onion rings. Ashley: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Philip: OH man, I died Josh: You can't expect to win that guy. Philip: this guy's the coolest. Josh: If by cool you mean he sucks. (Jimmy goes down and steals Phillips control and starts playing) Philip: I'm telling Mom Nikki: Josh, we're ready to go now (Everyone putting away their plates) Josh: Wait, I've almost beat this level Philip: Josh I want it back Josh: Wait your turn! Nikki: Josh, we don't want to be late for the dance Josh: Woman! Give it a rest, this requires a lot of concentration. (Philip starts picking his nose again, thirty minutes go by on the clock) Josh: YES! (beats the level) Okay, now we can go (handing back the game) But don't ruin my score, okay. Mr. Leeman: We just wanted to take a few pictures before hand Josh: Here's five bucks, get doubles for me? Mrs. Leeman: Of course darling! Isn't that cute he wants to get extra pictures? Absolutely precious. Josh: it's cheaper than waiting in line to pay for semiprofessional pictures I'm going to throw away anyway. Mrs. Leeman: Okay, … well we have a backdrop set up in the front yard Seth: Good thinking Mrs. Leeman Ashley: Mom, you're so weird Mrs. Leeman: Well would you rather have a midnight skyline in your pictures or Janice's dog licking himself? Seth: What kind of dog is it? Ashley: Fine, Mom, just take the pictures fast okay? (they all get in a line but Jimmy steps on the back drop and it breaks, the fabric falls covering them all and the plastic holding it up falls and hits someone on the head while Amy and Darrel are trying to fix it) Nikki: Ow, something hit me Seth: sorry, I think that was me Josh: I'll fix it, is this the clip? Ashley: That's my boob Josh: Sorry, then is this your boob Nikki? Seth: No, it's mine. Josh: Sorry Seth: quite all right (Amy and Darrel finally get the backdrop off of them) Nikki: I think having the dog in the background will be fine. (go to the dance) Josh: this is so lame (Rachel and Seth are dancing) Nikki: Josh, try to have a good time Josh: How can I have a good time when it sucks this much, we should go spike the punch. Nikki: We're not spiking the prom punch. Josh: Fine, if you don't want to have any fun. (pouts) Nikki: Do you want to dance or something? Josh: I hate dancing. I hate school dances. I hate school. Nikki: I know, that test mister Albert gave us was so unfair. Josh: Would you just shut it for a minute? Can anybody talk other than you? Hey, check out Maria she looks hot tonight. I love short blondes. Nikki: um.. Josh: And Courtney, she's got a great rack, I just want to grab 'em and squeeze 'em and.. Nikki: Josh, that is so rude. Josh: Look, I like yours too but.. Nikki: No, it's rude to talk about other girls when you're on a date Josh: I'm so sorry that I haven't been your perfect date or whatever. But I have to say, I think your expectations are just a little too high, can I help it if a perfectly perky set of melons come my way? Do you expect me to ignore them? I think that is far worse crime than whatever you're complaining about. You're acting like we're married. Nikki: No I'm not Josh: that's exactly what my Mom says to my dad. Nikki: But they are married Josh: Don't try to change the subject (girl walks by) Josh: You wanna dance? Girl: (looks disgusted and keeps walking by) Nikki: I thought you said you hated dancing. Josh: I do, and that's why, did you see the look that girl gave me? That was rude. Nikki: Right, look, I'm ready to go, are you ready to go? Josh: Yeah, sure, whatever (goes and punches Seth to get his attention but Seth turns his head and gets punched in the face) Josh: We're ready to go Seth: Uh, Ashley: I want to stay Seth: We'll get a ride with someone else Ashley: We are tearing up this dance floor Seth: Woohoo! (they start dancing again) (go to Jimmy and Debra in a car) Josh: So you're kinda quiet Nikki: I'm just thinking Josh: about what? Nikki: I don't know Josh: How can you not know what you're thinking, you're thinking it. Nikki: I don't really want to talk about it okay? Josh: That's fine, can you find my eight track? It should be under the seat. (Debra and Jimmy start looking for the tape Jimmy's head is up while Debra looks and when Jimmy's head goes down to look Debra looks up and sees a deer in the middle of the road and she screams, his head jerks up and he screams. He swerves to miss it and the car spins in circles about four times before crashing into the guardrail.) Josh: Are you okay? Nikki: Yeah, did we hit it? Josh: No Nikki: Thank God Josh: (shrugs) I was kind of looking forward to some venison Nikki: Gross Josh: Here, I'll call a tow truck (pulls out a gigantic, neon orange cell phone) Nikki: Cool, you have your own phone? Josh: Yeah, the chicks love it Nikki: I bet (little turned on) Josh: Yeah, Mom can you get the tractor? I crashed the car again. Thanks, (pause) no Mom, not now. I'm not saying it. Fine, (through gritted teeth) I love you mommy. Nikki: (smirking, but clears her throat) She's towing it with a tractor? Josh: It's cheaper, but don't worry it's a really fast tractor, it can get up to like thirty. Nikki: (sarcastic) wow, that's great Josh: (awkward silent pause) so, since we're going to be here for a while, you want to get back in the car and make out? Nikki: (looks at him, and then looks away and starts crying) End with a shot of the picture taken earlier with everyone in a line and the backdrop falling down on them. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
