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Chris Rose.....Luke Wilson Tom Arnold.....Jeff Richards John Sally.....Dean Edwards Lisa Guerro.....Tina Fey Girl on Bench 1.....Maya Rudolph Girl on Bench 2.....Rachel Dratch Announcer in Hanes ad/ Jackie Chan.....Chris Parnell Andy Dick.....Jimmy Fallon himself.....Special Guest Michael Jordan Chris Rose: Welcome back to the Best Damn Sports show period. Before the break we where discussing Baseball... Tom Arnold: Chris I have some important news during the break I met with my girlfriend and I proposed to her. John Sally: Congratulations Tom, ninth time is a charm. So how long have you known her? Tom Arnold: I told you I met her durring the break. Chris Rose: Back to Baseball, Randall Simon was suspended 3 games for hitting a girl in an itialian sausage costume in Milwaukee, do you think this was fair. Tom Arnold: Hey I don't think this is fair for Pee Wee Herman when he beat his sausage in front of a crowd he had to go to jail (cracks up)! Lisa Guerro: Chris I think the people of MLB did the right thing I mean... (guys nod and agree as they stare at her chest and nod off).. and so we should save the whales. Irving: Once again I agree completelty with Lisa. Tom Arnold: Take your top off! Chris Rose: Well lets switch gears from Nascar to the NBA, as we bring out our first guests, NBA Legend, Michael Jordan and his pal, actor Jackie Chan! Michael Jordan: Thanks guys. Chris Rose: now I understand you two did a project together that you want to show us. Jackie Chan: Commercial. Tom Arnold: What? Hey Ninja boy I don't speak Tokyoian! Michael Jordan: We did a commercial together for hane's. Chris Rose: Well lets take a look at it. (2 women are sitting on a park bench giggling) Woman #1: boxers! Woman #2: definately boxers! Woman #2: briefs! Woman #1: no way, bikini! Woman #1: (whispering) look it's Michael! Michael Jordan: Nothing. (the women look at each other and shrug, they resume) Woman #1: bikini! Woman #2: boxers! Woman #2: (whispering) It's Jackie! Jackie Chan: My wife's panties! Announcer: new Hanes Nothing, and My Wife's Panties, part of Hanes spring 2003 line. (ad ends) Tom Arnold: Hey Mike think you could get me a gig on a commercial? Chris Rose: Nice ad guys, now lets talk some more baseball, who do you think will win this years World Series? Michael Jordan: Well the Angels won last year and I think they have a good chance of repeat... Tom Arnold: WRONG! Obviously the Washinton Senators are gonna win! I'm right and you're wrong! Michael Jordan: Tom, the Senators moved out of Washington over 30 years ago, and no offense but I think I know more about the game then you do I mean I did play Minor League ball and... Tom Arnold: So? I starred in the movie 9 Months! I'm right you're wrong! Irving: Respect MJ, he's an NBA Legend! Tom Arnold: Why don't you go back into drug rehab, Irving? Irving: Why don't you go marry Roseanne again? Tom Arnold: You've won this round Irving! Michael Jordan: Man, that's it I'm leaving John, Michael I suggest you come with me, I mean this is more pathetic than Space Jam! Jackie and Lisa you come with me too. See you later Chris. (they all get up and leave) Tom Arnold: Can I make a joke about how Mike Piazzia's gay? Chris Rose: No. Tom Arnold: John Kruk has one testicle!! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
