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Dr. Jack Kevorkian...Will Forte Assistant...Fred Armisen Announcer...Darrell Hammond (Fade in) Dr. Jack Kevorkian: Have you ever wanted to die like your favorite celebrity? Hey, I’m infamous Dr. Jack Kevorkian! Do you want to die like your idol? Do you want to die while choking on your own vomit? Jimi Hendrix did! Have you ever wanted to die while choking on a ham sandwich? Mama Cass did! And guess what? Now you can, too! (Kevorkian goes to another room of his facility) Call or visit one of our many locations. We are now branching out to Detroit, Los Angeles and New York City. Come to Dr. Kevorkian’s House of Celebrity Death. You only die once, so why not make it a famous death. Die with Kevorkian style. Die with celebrity glitz and glamour. Die with celebrity history. (Grabs a living body, and shakes it to death) Die, damn it, die! (Casually walks away) That was a River Phoenix. So, are you ready to die? I bet you are. We are now extending our capabilities as celebrity death creators. We are now performing “Sam Kinison”, “Michael Hutchins” and “Rosie O’Donnell”. Assistant: Sir, Rosie O’Donnell isn’t dead. Dr. Jack Kevorkian: I know that, I was making a joke! Jackass. So, don’t let your life go on another day. Die today, the celebrity way at “Dr. Kevorkian’s House of Celebrity Death”! Announcer: For death the celebrity way, call 555-1900, that’s 555-1900. Die today, the celebrity way at “Dr. Kevorkian’s House of Celebrity Death”! (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
