|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Man on Street...Jack Black Interviewer...Chris Parnell Disciple...Kyle Gass SINGERS: "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" INTERVIEWER: (OFF STAGE TO M.O.S.) Excuse me sir, would you be willing to perform a human sacrifice? MAN ON STREET: (EXCITED) Dude, I've always wanted to do that! Count me in! INTERVIEWER: We've got a...(STARTS TO MAKE THE OFFER, BUT IS STUNNED BY WHAT M.O.S. SAYS.) Wait a minute, did you just say yes? MAN ON STREET: Oh, definately man. See, I'm studying to be like one of those ministers from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom", but no one wanted to volunteer to help me. But just my luck, someone made an offer, and I'm all set. I even got the weird headdress with the ram horns and everything, man I am Ready! INTERVIEWER: (O.S.) You do realize that you're doing this for a Klondike bar, right? MAN ON STREET: A Klondike Bar? No freakin' way! That's just sealing the deal for me! C'mon, let's get this thing going. (CUT TO THE BAR BEING MADE & THE JINGLE) SINGERS: "For that Chocolatty coated Ice Cream, loaded big and thick, no room for a stick..." (CUT TO WHAT LOOKS LIKE A REPLICA OF THE TEMPLE SCENE FROM "INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM". MANY PEOPLE ARE CHANTING IN TONGUES AS M.O.S.--IN FULL TEMPLE MASTER REGALIA-- PERFORMS SACRIFICE, PULLING OUT A MAN'S HEART.) MAN ON STREET: (IN HIS BEST EVIL VOICE) ...And we invoke this heathen's heart onto the body of our dark lord Satan... (A DISCIPLE INTERJECTS) DISCIPLE: (IN A HEILIUM-ESQUE VOICE.) Hail Satan! MAN ON STREET: (IMMITATING DISCIPLE) Hail Satan! DISCIPLE: (SAME VOICE) Hail Satan! MAN ON STREET: (SAME VOICE) Hail Satan! (CUT TO A SHOT OF THE BAR AND THE SLOGAN) SINGERS: "What would you do-oo-oo for a Klondike Bar?" (CUT BACK TO TEMPLE WHERE M.O.S. IS EATING BAR.) MAN ON STREET: (BACK TO HIS NORMAL TONE OF VOICE) You know, I would've done this without the Ice Cream, But whatever. (CONTINUES TO EAT AS DISCIPLE WATCHES.) DISCIPLE: (NORMAL VOICE) Can I have one, too? MAN ON STREET: Can you perform a Human Sacrifice? DISCIPLE: I'm working on it...(HOLDS UP A HUMAN KIDNEY) MAN ON STREET: Get to the heart, and we'll talk. (CONTINUES EATING) (FADE OUT) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
