Justin Timberlake: It’s great to be here hosting Saturday Night Live! Wow...this really is a dream come true for me! I can’t tell you how long I’ve been watching...

[P.J. Stagan (Forte) runs up to home base with little haste.]

P. J. Stagan: Hey Justin...

Timberlake: Uh...hey. Who are you?

Stagan: I’m JP...JT...no wait...that’s you...JP...damn! PJ...that’s it...PJ Ragan...Stagan...

Timberlake: (looking puzzled) Do you...do you not know your name there pal?

Stagan: Shut up! I’m PJ Stagan...ok?

Timberlake: Sure...uh...what are you doing here?

Stagan: Well, I always swore that if you ever agreed to host this show, I would confront you about dating my wife.

Timberlake: Woah, woah man...unless your wife is like, between the ages of 23 and...like 15, I haven’t dated your wife, ok?

Stagan: Oh really...are you forgetting about someone? Huh?

Timberlake: No...well, there was that one soccer mom in Sheboygan...but...

Stagan: Britney, you fool! She was mine, and you took her from me!

Timberlake: Britney Spears? Are you crazy?

Stagan: Despite what they might tell you down at the library...no, I’m not!

Timberlake: Listen man...I know for a fact that Britney wasn’t married while I was dating her. I mean, she’s like never been married, dude.

Stagan: Oh yeah...what are these, then?

[Stagan hands Timberlake a pile of Polaroids.]

Timberlake: (rifling through the pictures) Uh...these are a bunch of pictures of you standing in your boxers next to...to some guy with Britney’s head attached to his body!

Stagan: No...no they aren’t!

Timberlake: Dude...I mean, you could have used a girl, for god sakes! And like...everyone has Photoshop on their computers! Here...you obviously just cut a bunch of pictures of her head out of magazines and glued these on...whoever he is!

Stagan: Whatever, man...

[Out of nowhere, Britney Spears enters from the right and stands beside Stagan. Sustained applause, precipitated by her fame and surprise appearance alongside ex-boyfriend Timberlake, ensues.]

Britney Spears: Hey Justin...(cozies up next to Stagan and speaks very sensually) Hey PJ...

Stagan: (at a loss for words) Uh...uh...Britney...hey!

Spears: I just wanted to come by and say I’m sorry for cheating on you with Justin. It’s just that I hadn’t seen him since our days on the Mickey Mouse club...and when we met on TRL...I...I just lost it. I’m really sorry...

Timberlake: What? What the hell is goin’ on here?

Spears: (to Stagan) Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, baby?

Stagan: Well...it’s always been my policy not to take back girls who make a cuckold out of me...but I guess, since you’re Britney friggin’ Spears and all...I could forgive you...

Spears: I'm so glad to hear that. So.. you wanna make out in front of Twinkletoes?

Stagan: You bet!

Timberlake: Wait a minute! Why am I Twinkletoes?

Spears: Oh please.. must everything be about you?

Timberlake: Well, this is my monologue!

Stagan: [ to Spears ] Why don't we go back to our seats? Or would you rather get a room at the Y?

Spears: Do those rooms have phone jacks? I'd like to plug in my laptop and upload more of Twinkletoes' photos to the gay porn sites.

Stagan: Okay, but let me see them first..