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Anchorperson.....Seth Meyers Respondent: Kenneth Damien.....Jeff Richards Live Feed person: Phil Nielson.....Fred Armisen Democratic Debate Moderator: Gwen Ifill (PBS).....Maya Rudolph (Open to Gwen (Rudolph) sitting at a desk wearing a navy blue business suit.) Gwen: Good evening and welcome to the Democratic debates. With us this evening is Senator John Kerry, Senator Howard Dean, and Representative Dick Gephardt. Good to have you here. Our first question goes to Senator Kerry... (Cut to the Fox News Special report intro, and open to anchor person (Meyers) sitting calm behind the news desk.) Anchor: Good evening, we interrupt the Democratic debates with a Fox News Special report. In Baghdad, explosions occurred earlier today completely destroying the local Butchery. Forty five are presumed dead and that number now includes two people. We're going live for breaking coverage to special reporter, Kenneth Damien, in Iraq. Kenneth, tell us what you see. (Kenneth (Richards) stands atop a completely intact building with a clear blue sky and city skyline behind him) Kenneth: It is absolute pandemonium here! From where I'm standing you can see smoke from the building rising to the Heavens and hear the sirens and screams from below. (Camera cuts to a dove cooing) Kenneth: It's is a truly devastating incident. The damage is so severe; the flames have encompassed the Baghdad skyline since daybreak. Anchorman: Thank you Kenneth. We will keep you posted on this tragedy in Iraq as it develops. We now we return you do the (makes quotations with his fingers) "Democratic" debates. (Cut back to Gwen at the debate.) Gwen Ifill: Thank you Senator Kerry, Representative Gephardt, what is your response to Senator Kerry? (Cut to Fox News Special Report intro) Anchor: Once again we interrupt these debates to bring you live coverage of a tragedy in Iraq. An important state building has just exploded due to terrorist actions. We're going to our live feed, Sam Knight, in Iraq, to get on the street coverage. Sam are you there? (The camera opens to a scene of people walking casually down the street. Some cars parked along side the road, two men argue over who the car actually belongs to. A couple sits at a cafe sharing a plate of noodles a' la lady and the tramp.) Sam v/o: I'm here, and as you can see the masses are in disarray. They are traumatized by their losses of this crucial building which represents a long and fruitful heritage. As you can plainly see the people of Iraq are stunned and at a loss of what to do as they prepare to recover from yet another cataclysm. Anchor: Thank you, Sam. We promise to continue this coverage of wrong doing. Now we now return to the "talk to the shrink because the Americans aren't listening" debates. (Cut back to Gwen at the desk) Gwen: Senator Dean, how would you plan on handling the conflict in Iraq? (Cut to the Fox News Special Report intro) Anchor: We interrupt to once again to bring you live coverage of the heart wrenching misfortune of the Iraqi people due to the villainous acts of heartless, murdering Al-Qa'ida supporters of Sadaam Hussein. We go now to our correspondent in Iraq, Kenneth Damien. Kenneth? Kenneth: As you can see the smoke is even thicker than it was earlier today. The losses suffered by the community and families are without measure. I wish you could see the horror I see right now. (Cut to a dove cooing) Kenneth: It's cruel, and wrong, and it breaks my heart; the people of Iraq cry out for justice and salvation. Their cries can be heard from atop this building: "America you are our only hope!" You can hear them now! (Cut to a dove cooing) Kenneth: Well.. they were doing it earlier; anyway, back to you. Anchor: Thank you Kenneth. We will continue to cover this story, fair and balanced. But now back to the "we don't care about the Iraqi people" Debates. (Cut back to Gwen.) Gwen: That's all the time we have this evening, I would like to thank our candidates and say best wishes to all and ..Live from New York! It's Saturday Night!!! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
