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Mousetrap.....Alec Baldwin Cheese.....Amy Poehler Mouse.....Fred Armisen Fade in…. The camera shows a view from above a stove. On the stove are unwashed pans and pots, with a mousetrap set on the middle of the stovetop awaiting it’s victim… Cheese: (Talking to trap) I just couldn’t be part of an omelette, or maybe even a grill cheese sandwich. I had to be part of a diabolical plot to kill one of god’s creatures… Mousetrap: Just shut your yap. At least you don’t have to be the one who actually cracks the neck of that poor cute mouse. Cheese: The are cute aren’t they… Mousetrap: Not after I’m done with them… Cheese: Haha, I hear that… If only the slob who lives here actually did his dishes and cleaned his kitchen, I may have actually been able to be a part of a delicious dinner… But no, I had to be a piece of cheese in friggin Pigpens fridge… Mousetrap: At least you had some hope, I always knew what my fate was from day 1… Cheese: Understood, but there’s something about having hopes and dreams. Seeing that fridge door open and knowing you are up next, then winding up here. Only .00046% of all cheese slices wind up where I’m at right now, so forgive my sarcasm… Mousetrap: Just call it manifest destiny O’ cheesy one… Cheese: Shhh…I think I hear our featured guest coming up for a looksie… Looks like the end of the line for us both eh trappy… Mousetrap: Indeed it is Cheesy, now let’s send this rodent straight to HELL!!! Mouse: (Sniffing and thinking to himself) Man, wood and metal springs!!! That really turns me on…I need to get that ugly yellow crap off the end of it though. It’s just such a turn off… Cheese: It shouldn’t be long now, he’ll never be able to resist my cheesey goodness. Mousetrap: Yea, It’s always the cheese that the little guy always wants apparently. They always go right to it and try and pull it off… I just wish that I could be the object of a mouse’s desire just once… Cheese: Hahaha, Yea right Trappy, I think we both know who is the catch here… Mouse: (Watering at the mouth still thinking to himself) Man that is one fine wood and metal spring thingie… Now to just get that yellow abortion off of there and live the dream of each and every mouse, to make sweet love to a wood and metal spring thingie, just like my forefathers did…(Mouse approaches cheese) Cheese: (Thinking to self, “ So this is where it all ends”) Mouse: (Still thinking to self) Oh yea wood and metal spring thingie, just give me a sec to knock this yellow substance off of your sweet body, then we can do it Mous-ey style…( Mouse knocks off cheese from trap without trying to eat it)… Mousetrap: (Snaps forward onto the mouse’s neck) Haha you guys always fall for the cheese… So predictable you mice are… Mouse: (Last dying breath) What’s cheese, I just wanted to give you my love wooden metal spring thingie..Just my love… Cheese: (To Mousetrap) Man isn’t that a kick in the pants… At least you got to do your job, I’m gonna just sit here on the stove until I rot away. This is not good times… Mousetrap: Well at least you don’t have to spend the rest of your miserable life watching someone who loved you rot away. This mouse loved me and what did I do? What did I do?… Cheese: You did your job trappy, you did your job… Fade Out… Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
