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Al (The Uncle Tom employee).....Al Sharpton Tyrell (Black employee #1).....Finese Mitchell Reggie (Black employee #2).....Kenan Thompson Peter (Very white businessman).....Chris Parnell Caitlin (Very white businesswoman).....Amy Poehler Fade in: {Scene open in a small conference room at a law firm. Peter, Caitlin and AL are talking and laughing in a very business like tone while waiting for Tyrell and Reggie to arrive at the meeting so they can start.} Peter: Gosh I wish just for once that those 2 would be on time to a meeting, but you know how those guys are…ahhh{feeling embarrassed} Caitlin: Ahh…what I think Peter was saying is that…{Al cuts her off} Al: Now now don’t feel you have to censor yourselves just for me… {leans in and speaks in a soft tone} I wouldn’t hire their kind either….{All 3 start laughing in a loud but stuffy manner} Peter: Golly Al, sometimes I forget that you are one of them. {All 3 continue laughing in the same manner} Al: You forget….If I didn’t have to look in the mirror everyday I’d think I was one of you fine people {Laughing continues and gets progressively louder} {Reggie and Tyrell walk into the room and the laughter abruptly stops} Tyrell: Yea ummm sorry to keep y’all waitin’ {sarcastically} Hope you don’t have to lynch us Massa…Oh no lawdy nooo… Reggie: {Looks at Al and skakes his head in disgust} Pssssssssssss(hissing sound)……..man check this fool out over hear{motions to Al and starts talking in an uptight white guy voice} Oh I don’t want to be late for the white man’s meeting, I’ll be 15 minutes early and bring the coffee, yes indeedeeeey… {Al looks towards Peter and Caitlin, all 3 begin shaking their heads and rolling their eyes at each other…then look towards Reggie and Tyrell…then back at each other continuing the head shaking and eye rolling for a few minutes} {Silence fills the conference room…the camera scene switches between them and Reggie and Tyrell who are also shaking their heads, then motioning with their eyes at them and then back at each other for more head shaking…..} Reggie: Psssssss man Pssssss…… Tyrell: Man Pssssss…..man…. Al: (Yelling) Alright, what is with that stupid Pssss sound you keep making, what does it even mean…It is certainly not acceptable vernacular here at Greenstein, Sobel and Watson….. I suggest you two straighten up and fly right… Reggie: Fly right Pssss…..man… Tyrell: Man Pssssss… fly right… Caitlin: Alright enough shenanigans here let’s just get started..Our first case is{Tyrell interrupts} Tyrell: Whoa whoa psssss…whoa psssssss….man pssss……whoa Reggie: Pssssssss whoa whoa psssss man pssssss….whoa Tyrell: Now why come the white people get to start the meeting?….Pssss….man pssss…… Reggie: Yea why psssss….come? pssssss…. Peter: Okay fellas, if you guys would like to start the meeting be our guest… [Reggie and Tyrell both look at Peter and start shaking their heads in unison. They look back at each other and let out one big Psssssss……} Al: {angrily} Alright gentlemen that’s about enough of that nonsense, please refrain from the constant Psssssssss…ing Reggie and Tyrell: {in unison} man……………3 beats….Pssssssssssss……. {Al now is furious, he is sitting with his eyes open wide shaking in anger and looking straight forward. He gets up, reaches in his jacket and pulls out a 44 magnum which he proceeds to empty into both Tyrell and Reggie….upon finishing the deed he calmly sits down and places the gun flat on the table looking relieved} Peter: Psssssss…man Caitlin: Man pssssssss… Al: Pssssss…man psssssssssss…….. {All 3 begin laughing hysterically as we…} Fade out… Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
