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....Rachel Dratch Hermey the Dentist Elf....Elijah Wood Henry V....Jimmy Fallon Hercules....Horatio Sanz [Open on Rachel Dratch standing at Home Base.] Rachel Dratch: And now, singing a lovely old Christmas carol, are three dear friends, reunited for the first time... Hermey, the Dentist Elf from ABC's Rudolph the Reindeer cartoon... [a blond elf in bright green togs steps into the spotlight] ... Henry the Fifth of medieval England [an armor-clad youngster with a Prince Valiant wig joins Hermey]... and the Greek hero of legend, Hercules. [A muscleman gone to seed, his sizable gut straining against a loincloth, rounds out the trio as Dratch steps out of frame.] All three: Have yourself a merry little Christmas / Let your heart be light / From now on, our troubles will be out of sight / Have yourself a merry little Christmas / Make the yuletide gay -- Hermey: Okay, I know what most of you are thinking. But let's sooooo not go there. Hercules: Then let's do this, yo. All three: From now on, our troubles will be miles away / Here we are as in olden days / Happy golden days of yore / Faithful friends who are dear to us / Gather near to us once more -- Henry V: [excitedly] Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more! Or close the wall up with our English dead. Hermey: Excuse us? Henry V: [not letting it go] When the blast of war blows in our ears, Then imitate the action of the tiger; Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood, Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage! Hercules: Look bro, you know I've gots your back and all. But we gots to finish the carol. Henry V: Carol? Hermey: Hello, the Christmas carol. You know, Prince of Peace, sleep in heavenly peace... no sinews and tigers and rage, okay then? And you should know, being the only verifiable Christian among us. Henry V: Aye, 'tis true. Very well. All three: Through the years we all will be together / If the fates allow -- Hercules: Oh snap, the Fates? Not the Fates, I hate them witches! Hermey: Good golly and bows of holly -- now what? Hercules: There's one what spins the thread, one what measures that bad boy out, then the third cuts it short. And here's the part that freaks me out -- the thread stands for your LIFE, yo! Hermey: Let's just finish the rassin' frassin' song!! All three: Hang a shining star upon the highest bough / And have yourself a merry little Christmas... now. [The three bow, first to each other, then the audience. Fade out.] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
