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.....Jennifer Aniston .....Matt Leblanc Don Pardo: Ladies and Gentlemen Jenifer Aniston Jennifer Aniston: Oh, it's so great to be here, for the first SNL of 2004 (Applause) Jennifer Aniston: Anyways, well it's the New Year, and I thought I would spend the monolouge, trying to tell you all my new year resolutions. Well first I- (There is some noise going on at the other end of the stage we here a voice) Voice: Friends Cast united ahh!! (Enter- Matt LeBlanc, struggling onto the stage with NBC security guards grabbing him, he then lunges but he is tackled to the ground by the guards) Jennifer Aniston: Matt, what are you doing here? Matt LeBlanc: Trying to avoid “E True Hollywood Story” Jennifer Aniston: You guys can just let him go, he’s a star it’s okay. (Matt is let go and he gets up) Matt LeBlanc: Look at me this is my life. (With that the spotlight turns on him, and sad music plays) Matt LeBlanc: Look at me, they call me the least popular cast member of Friends, and it’s true, I mean I’m the only Friend who’s never hosted this show and now you’re hosting it again. (he breaks down and starts sobbing) (Music stops as Jennifer speaks) Jennifer Aniston: Oh, it’s okay, I mean, yeah you’re not the funniest,or the most popular and people have thrown rocks at your house. But hey, at least there’s the spinoff “Joey” that’ll make you a star. Matt LeBlanc: Oh yeah that’ll help. (sarcastically) “Joey” is just one of those one season bill paying shows. You think the shows going to be good, and thanks for reminding me about Joey. Production sent me to look for people to make guest appearances on the show to boost ratings. I’ve been looking all month for people. “IT’S HOPELESS”( he starts to cry again) Jennifer Aniston: Calm down Matt, who have you got so far. Matt LeBlanc: Emmanuel Lewis, and Jared from the Subway commercials (he starts sobbing again) Jennifer Aniston: Ooh, that bad. (Matt suddenly lights up and says) Matt LeBlanc: Hey, why don’t you make an appearance? Jennifer Aniston: Well, I mean, I’ve got some movies coming up. Matt LeBlanc: Oh yeah like what, oh wait don’t tell me, “Office Space 2” Jennifer Aniston: Hey! That was a funny movie. Matt LeBlanc: You’re right, who am I to argue with the star of “Good Girl”. Jennifer Aniston: Hey that was a cheap shot. Matt LeBlanc: Oh, you’re right, but you are like the most famous friend, and look at me, I’m just a loser, and the show Joey is going to be bad, and then I will surely get put on, get put on. (He hesitates) Jennifer Aniston: What will you get put on. Matt LeBlanc: PYRAMID!!!!!!!!!!!!! My life does suck!!!!!!!!! (He breaks down again and starts to cry aloud) Jennifer Aniston: Hey, come on, you’re not that bad, and hey stop crying, it's pathetic. (He continues to cry) Jennifer Aniston: Would you rather have your life or David Schwimmer’s (Matt stops crying and gets up) Matt LeBlanc: Hey my life isn’t that bad, wow you are right Jennifer. (Jennifer looks at the audience) Jennifer Aniston: Anyways we’ve got a great show; the Black Eyed Peas are here. Matt LeBlanc: Hey, you think they’d want to make an appearance on my show. Jennifer Aniston: You know, I really don’t think that’ll work. Matt LeBlanc: Yeah you’re right. (Jennifer looks out at the audience) Jennifer Aniston: So stick around we’ll be right back. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
