|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sarah ... Tina Fey Kara ... Maya Rudolph Shelby ... Amy Poehler 50 Cent ... Finesse Mitchell (Open to Kara (Rudolph) and Sarah (Fey) standing in a bedroom. Sarah standing in front of the mirror.) Sarah: Gross. (examining figure) How did I let myself go? Kara: I know what you mean. This year, we are going to do it and stick to it! Sarah: We've said that every year. Kara: But this year we mean it. [Enter Shelby (Poehler) with an over pronounced butt] Shelby: What's up girls? Sarah: (to Kara rolling her eyes) Great... Kara: We're just talking about our new years resolutions. Shelby: Oh yeah? I think this year my resolution is to only get one gym membership that I don't use! [Shelby starts laughing. Other two stare at her.] Sarah: You think it's funny? Kara: What? You think you're better than us? Shelby: No, my grandma always gets me memberships....and I don't go..and... Sarah: Look J'Lo why don't u go take your bootilicious behind and get out of here! Kara: Yeah, why don't you go make a music video Ms. Perfect! [enter Fifty (Mitchell)] Fifty Cent: Hi I'm Fifty Cent. These are crazy times but it's nice to know that some things stay the same. Take bitches for example. They ain't never happy with their cans. (looking at Sarah, Kara and Shelby) Crazy hos. And another constant is me...50 cent. You know 50 always delivers the musical goods. That's why you need to buy my new album. It's a message of hope for everyone in these troubled times. Are you surounded by fly bitches and hos fighting over something other than you? Then you need my new album. Are you a fly bitch o' ho and you fighting over something other than me? Then you need my new album. If you got a can like rice cake ... then you need my album. Ladies, if you gotta can to please a man and you' beau ain't pleasin' you I got two hands, two feet and I been shot nine times, get in my limo! But first, get my album. (Shelby approaches him. He checks her out.) Baby, you got so much junk in that trunk Oscar the Grouch be popping outta that can. And when he pops out, the first thing he do is buy my album. Now get in my limo! Shelby: Sure! I love your crazy hip-hop beats! Fifty Cent: (to camera) And so will you. 9 tracks, each one a sure fire hit. Quick, buy my album before I pop a cap in yo' can o' they all sold out! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
