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Narrator: Darryl Hammond Arjun.....An unknown 16 year old male actor-indian descent Parthiv (Arjun’s older Brother).....Seth Meyers Preeti (Arjun’s Younger Sister).....An unknown 10 year old actress indian descent Arjun’s Father.....Chris Parnell Arjun’s Mother.....Amy Poehler Man in the Elevator.....Fred Armisen Announcer and Ludacris.....Finesse Mitchell We open with an outside look at the mall from outside. Cut to an elevator, it has Preeti, Parthiv, Arjun, and the Mother Mother: Well was that not fun! Arjun: Yeah, it sure is fun too see your brother get hit on in the rest room. (Parthiv then grabs Arjun and puts him into a headlock) Arjun: Okay, okay, that was just you know a common thing. (Parthiv lets go) Arjun: Everyone has their share of gay experiences, wow, uh hey how about that Lifetime network, maybe the bathroom guy can talk to you about it. (Parthiv tries to grab Arjun again but Mother restrains him) Mother: Look, it's Thanksgiving, you, cut the jokes, and you, you, just calm down. (The elevator opens and the 5 get out) (Suddenly a man with glasses comes running to elevator he has bags in his hands) Man with glasses: Wait, wait, hold on. (He suddenly trips and he falls with the bags going all over) Man with glasses: Dammit! Could you guys hold the elevator. Mother: Parthiv help the man with his bags. (Parthiv grabs a bag and gives it to the man) Man with glasses: What are you doing, don't touch my property. Parthiv: Just trying to help. Man with glasses: Don't touch, just wait and hold the elevator. (He has two bags tries to reach and he grabs onto the third bag, but he loses grip and all fall down) Man with glasses: Argh! God, why can't I hold them. (Parthiv reaches down) Man with glasses: Don't help me! (Man with glasses struggles with the bags he grabs the three and lunges into the elevator). Man with glasses: Finally I can go to the 2nd floor. Parthiv: Yeah, uh this is the 2nd floor. (Mother gets out of the elevator and the door closes with the Man shouting) Man with glasses: Dammit! (Cut to the car driving away, and then shoot an image of the blue house and inside the house) (Arjun runs into the house. He looks hungry. The camera pans around to a pantry. Arjun runs into it). Arjun: Sweet sanity, some snack mix. (He grabs a can which should have snack mix in it) Father: Always eating, and today's Thanksgiving, you'll be doing a lot of that. (Father goes into the other room) (Arjun grabs the can and starts to dig in to the snack mix. With a mouth filled with food, he realizes that it is not snack mix that he ate." Arjun: (Mouth full of food) Walnuts! (The walnuts in his mouth all fall out into the sink. He washes his mouth out.) (Cut to the TV room, father and Parthiv are watching TV.) (In the background, Ludacris's "Stand Up" is playing, Father is enjoying the song that is playing It is not actually Ludacris's voice, and the camera pans to the TV. We see a fake Ludacris on screen saying the words. The Camera then pans to the father with the fake one singing the song) Father: Yeah, Stand Up, when I move, you move, yeah, Just like that. (Arjun comes into the room with an ashamed look on his face, and Parthiv was just lost in his thoughts to really notice) (The music continues to play and the father then gets and says) Father: You know this song is not bad, you should be telling me about these songs. Arjun: Hey, isn't there a Led Zepplin marathon coming. Father: You know what, I'm just trying to understand the music. Arjun: First off, you are not understanding the music, you are becoming the music, you might as well get a shotgun and keep next to your biyatch! Father: Hey, no foul language. Parthiv: (Now awake). Ooh, the little man is using bad words. Father: Furthermore, you really need to stop having so many peeves, because you are never going to be happy, just remember that. Like I said, I would have killed for parents like me. Arjun: I'll kill for something just not that. (The announcer suddenly comes on) Announcer: Coming up, is the latest from Ghetto Ass Terry. Father: Hey, who is Ghetto Terry. Arjun: I really do not know. Father: Oh, I see, you are not going to tell me, you don't want me to know Arjun: No I- Father: No, I see, you just think that because you aren't crazy for it, I cannot be. Arjun: No, I really don't who he is, I don't like the extremists types. Father: So, it comes down to an uncertainty issue. You think that you are not cool enough to listen to that music. You are still insecure about yourself what is going on. Arjun: No, I just don't like it. Father: Just don't like it, or just don't want to like it, cause kids at school will get mad at you. Arjun: NO! I am not a depressed neurotic. (Mother walks into the room) Mother: Who's depressed. Arjun, why are you afraid of school. Arjun: I'm not afraid of anything. Parthiv: Yeah, except our, lovable father, who likes some rap music, is it too much just to allow him to listen. Arjun: You don't care what he does, you can just escape to college and forget he likes it. Parthiv: You know, I read somewhere that denial and excuses and fearfulness are all part of being on drugs I mean "Bi Polar". Arjun: Oh, go preach to the men's room, oh wait, looks like you have already done that. (Parthiv goes after Arjun, but he runs out of the room as Parthiv goes for the chase after him.) (We go to black and it comes back to normal we see the parents preparing for the dinner. We have time lapse. Preeti enters onto the scene. She sits onto the computer and gets ready for the internet Arjun walks into the room, and mother comes into the room and sits on the couch) Preeti: I'm doing my homework for social studies, I don't care that it's Thanksgiving. Mother: Well, isn't that nice, maybe you should do some homework. Arjun: She is only doing her work because there is nothing good on TV, and it's pretty much the boring part of Thanksgiving, you know, waiting for food, and the football in it's slower parts. Mother: That may be, but, she is still doing her work, and that is important. Preeti: Yeah, I'm important and you, well you are just boring. Guess what, I have to look up some information on the internet for the White House. Arjun: Well, that's really nice. (At this moment, Preeti types onto the internet screen) (The camera focuses in on the box for the URL, it says www.whitehouse.com) (For those who don't know whitehouse.com is a porn site) (Suddenly the screen for whitehouse.com shows up) Preeti: Whaat! What's this, this is not the whitehouse. Is it? (Arjun comes back into the room.) Arjun: Why are you shouting. (He looks at the screen) Oh my god! Arjun: What are doing on that site, get off there. (Mother, looks at the screen.) Mother: What are you doing on that site. How did you get there. (She looks at Arjun) Mother: You, you must have been looking, there, how could leave for your sister to find. Arjun: I don't look at those sites Mother: How did she get there. Arjun: She must have typed it in. (Preeti still in shock suddenly clicks on a tab and we end on a gallery with images shown there are naked parts shown all around) Arjun: Why are you here, what does this has to do with the white house. Preeti: Well, uh, it sure was common when Clinton was in office. Fade the screen out to black Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
