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.....Drew Barrymore
Don Pardo V/O: Ladies and gentlemen! Drew Barrymore! [ Drew Barymore enters stage to harried applause ] Drew Barrymore: Thank you, thank you very much! We've got a great show for you tonight, but, before we get started, I want all of you at home to put a tape in the VCR and start recording. Because you're never going to see this episode again after tonight - unless, maybe, you can find some obsessive fan on the internet announcing his video collection to all the world. It's very special to be hosting the show tonight, because it's Valentine's Day! How romantic is that? And, no, I didn't agree to host because I couldn't find a date for the evening. In fact, my longest relationship is here with "Saturday Night Live". For me, doing this show is a lot like being in a whirlwind romance. I mean, think about it. You see it through the good times, you see it through the bad times.. Remember the first time you were in love, or the first time you watched "Saturday Night Live"? It's very exciting in the beginning.. you look forward to each sketch with great anticipation, you don't know what's going to happen next.. You grow comfortable with certain rituals - like always meeting for lunch at Cuco's, or having to watch another Versace sketch.. the dialogue never changes, and you have to share a burrito platter with your date because he doesn't want to pay for two dishes. After a while, you become a bit aggravated.. but you can't seem to let go, because of all the memories of the good times you shared in the early days of your relationship - back when the show was good, and not as inspired by M-TV.. But the evening continues, and suddenly you're having a good time again.. the laughs keep flowing. Then, just when you think everything is perfect, you get into this huge argument about music - either in the car, or on the stage. He thinks you want to listen to Clay Aiken and Britney Spears, when, really, you're more of a Paul Simon and Rolling Stones kind of girl. And it's not as if you think the man is a mind reader or anything.. you can tell him over and over again what you like, but he just keeps on producing the same old crap. And you think he's only interested in you, but then you catch him creating television pilots for other performers behind your back! Eventually, you decide that the only thing you can do is break up. But he keeps calling you and calling you, begging you to come back and host the show just once more, promising that things will be different for the two of you this time around. And you figure it might be for the best - after all, you keep the same circle of friends, yours is one of the few names the announcer never gets wrong.. but, honestly, by the end of the night, you can't wait to run out to the club and drink yourself into a stupor, because you can't believe how naive you were about the entire thing! Anyway, that's neither here nor there! We've got a great -- well, we've got a show for you. Kelis is here.. I can't believe I'm here again.. and we'll be right back! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
