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.....Christina Aguilera .....Jimmy Fallon .....Horatio Sanz Don Pardo: Ladies and gentlemen, Christina Aguilera!!! (Christina enters the stage from the home base door) Christina Aguilera: Thank you! It’s a real pressure to be here hosting Saturday Night Live! Wow! I wanted to sing a song tonight for all of you at home and then I realized, that I’m the host, not a musical guest tonight. I’m the host! So…I wrote a song to sing with Jimmy Fallon and I hope you like it. (Jimmy Fallon enters the stage; the SNL band joins in as the duo begin to sing) Christina Aguilera: (singing soft ballad lyrics) Oh, it’s Saturday Night. And I’m feeling all right. I’ve got a handsome man by my side, but he smells like something just died. (Jimmy looks spooked by the last line) Oh, it’s Saturday Night. And I’m feeling so right. I’ve got a beautiful man for a date, but I bet he sits at home and masturbates. (Jimmy, once again, looks spooked by the last line) Oh, it’s Saturday Night and I’m feeling just right. I want Jimmy to have nasty sex with me. (Jimmy enjoys what she has just sang) But by the end of the night, I’m gonna give him VD! (Jimmy, once again, looks spooked by the last line) Jimmy? Jimmy Fallon: Oh, I want to thank you, Ms. Christina Aguilera. But, however, sex with you, I would not dare-a. Because, you see…I already have VD. It was Tina Fey that gave it to me. Christina Aguilera: Oh, what are you trying to say to me…Are you too good for me? Jimmy Fallon: Yes, you whore, you mean very little to me. Christina Aguilera: Oh, I see. I guess I have to ask Horatio to have sex with me. (Camera spots out Horatio beside the stage, making a very “horny” face) (Horatio runs onto the stage; kiss Christina wildly and grabs one her breasts) Christina Aguilera: We have a great show for you, tonight! I’m here! We have Maroon 5 here. So stick around, we’ll be right back! (Fade to commercial) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
