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Announcer.....Chris Parnell Mohammed.....Finesse Mitchell Woman #1.....Christina Aguilera Woman #2.....Tina Fey Woman #3.....Rachel Dratch Bartender.....Kenan Thompson Follower.....Jimmy Fallon Annoucer V/O: Mel Gibson, the director of such films as “The Man Without a Face,” presents a controversial new look at one of God’s greatest messengers. If you guessed Jesus Christ, then you would be horribly wrong. Mohammed, the famous prophet, is the subject of this powerful historical motion picture. He is a man who was faced with many different choices… [Cut to a harem] Woman #1: Pick me exalted one. Woman #2: No, please pick me. Mohammed: I just can’t decide. Who’s to say I can’t have both of you tonight? (Mohammed grabs each girl by the arm) Woman #1: (giggles) Oh Mohammed, you’re such a bad boy. Woman #3: What about me? Can’t I join in the fun too? Mohammed: To be honest, I’ve seen camels with backsides more attractive than you. Announcer V/O: And much temptation… [Cut to a bar] Bartender: Care for a delicious alcoholic beverage? Mohammed: You infidel, how dare you offer me the devil’s liquid. Get out… (Mohammed grabs Bartender and throws him out on the street) Mohammed: And stay out. Bartender: But it’s my bar. Mohammed: Not any more. This is Allah’s bar now you swine. Announcer: All in the name of religion… [Cut to Mohammed and his followers in a public square] Follower: Oh holiest of men, by what name do you call your new faith? Mohammed: It’s called… (The gathering is interrupted by a lamb desperately running from the butcher’s knife) Mohammed: Is that a lamb? Follower: Kind of long don’t you think? Couldn’t we just call it Islam for short? Announcer V/O: “The Passion of the Mohammed,” premiering February 23rd on Al-Jazeera and February 25th on HBO. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
