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Jayson Blair.....Kenan Thompson Announcer.....Chris Parnell .....Ben Affleck Announcer V/O: Coming this April, former disgraced New York Times reporter Jayson Blair gets his own show, The Jayson Blair Hour. Jayson Blair: (Sitting at news desk, face looks sweaty and flush.) In my opinion, John Edwards won’t be Kerry’s running mate, his running mate will be Jay-Z. Announcer V/O: Jayson Blair pulls no punches when it comes to current events. Jayson Blair: There is nothing wrong with President Bush; you know he was a war hero! Announcer V/O: Jayson also talks about important historical facts, key word being facts. Jayson Blair: With that one swing of the bat, Wayne Gretzky gave the Boston Celtics the 1934 Super Bowl. Yes, Wayne Gretzky a truly great American. Announcer V/O: Jayson even interviews. Jayson Blair: (Interviewing Ben Affleck.) Now, Ben how do you feel about “Paycheck” sweeping all eleven Oscar categories it was nominated in? Ben Affleck: No, that was Lord of the Rings; Return Of The King. Jayson Blair: Damn, I could have sworn it was Paycheck. Ben Affleck: Uhh… no. Announcer V/O: Do you want the truth, you can’t handle the truth! Jayson Blair: The weirdest thing happened the other night when I was walking home, a spaceship came crashing out of the sky and then… and then… uhh… (Gets out a handkerchief and wipes off sweaty face.) and then Michael Jordan came out of the spaceship. He said, “Hey Jayson, would you like some Taco Bell?” Then I said “Sure MJ!” So we went and got uhh… uhh… quesadillas, yeah, quesadillas. Announcer V/O: Jayson Blair is the best thing to happen to television. Jayson Blair: You love me America, face it, America loves liars, they love Bill Clinton, they love that character Jon Lovitz plays, what’s his name… Tommy Flanagan, yeah that’s the ticket. Announcer V/O: The Jayson Blair Hour coming this fall to Fox News. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
