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David Gibson.....Ben Affleck Ron Teeker.....Will Forte John Madden.....Darrell Hammond Stuart Scott.....Kenan Thompson Lisa Guerrero.....Maya Rudolph OPENS TO GIANT SCRABBLE BOARD WITH THE WORD “ESPN” ON IT John Madden: Welcome back I’m John Madden and I’m here with Stuart Scott. How yah doin', Stuart? Stuart Scott: I’m doin' good, John. John Madden: Stuart, what are your predictions for tonight’s game? Stuart Scott: I think newcomer Ron Teeker is gonna come in with a Double Word Score, then veteran David Gibson will some how add more to the that same word! John Madden: Well I think that the person who lays down the most tiles with the bigger little number in the bottom corner the most times and has a few colored squares under it, will take home the cup! Stuart Scott: But remember you don’t have too lay down all your tiles to get a high score. John Madden: You're right Stuart, now lets go back too the game, with Gibson at 320 points, and Teeker at 210. SHOWS TEEKER AND GIBSON IN A HUGE ARENA IN THE MIDDLE OF A BOXING RING, INTENSLY CONSENTRATING ON THERE LETTERS AND THE BOARD, BOTH SWEATING HEAVILY John Madden V/O: Teeker is making his next move and it is “Countries” that’s a good move by Teeker, now Gibson’s strategy of adding on more to all his opponents words was just broken, because the word he lied is nearly impossible to have more added to it. He’s gonna have to drop that strategy faster than Howard Deans chances of winning the Democratic Nomination! MADDEN GIGGLES AT STUPID JOKE AND SCOTT GIVES HIM PATHETIC LOOK. Stuart Scott: Now, we go over to Lisa Guerrero. SCREEN GOES TO LISA STANDING IN FRONT OF THE RING Lisa Guerrero: Well, we have a great game out here today, the key is to lay down the most tiles with the bigger little number in the bottom corner, the most times and have a few colored squares under it. He who can do that will win tonight’s game! Back to you John. John Madden: I like what this chick has to say! SCREEN GOES TO STUART, THINKING THE CAMERA IS STILL ON LISA Stuart Scott: She has some nice chestacles... I’d like to get in... REALIZED CAMERA IS ON HIM GETS DEER IN HEADLIGHTS LOOK ON HIS FACE Stuart Scott: It’s now Gibson’s turn, and he plays “Goodler” I’ve never heard of that word before. John Madden: Hold the ice Stuart! Ron Teeker is going to challenge the play! SCREEN GOIES TO THE PLAYERS, TEEKER GIVES GIBSON THE EVIL EYE AND NODS HEAD Stuart Scott: He claims it’s someone who “Goodles.” this could play a part in the defeat of David Gibson. John Madden: Yes, Gibson is gonna take a big fat zero! Big and fat like Rush Limbaugh! Ha Ha! STUART MOUTHS THE WORD MORON Stuart Scott: Ron Teeker is on his next move but first let’s have John Madden do one of his chalk board play by play things. John Madden: Here when Teeker lied down “Rooster” (Rooster is circled with pen) he could of lied it down over here, (Draws line) he also could of got an “S” attached to it (Draws an “S”) and that would of gotten him 2 more points because of the double word score.(Circles Double Word Score) Hey Stuart over here where Gibson lied down “Plot” (Circles Plot) it kind of looks like it could have been “Poop” (Writes Poop) heh heh. And look I you can draw anything with this pen, hey a smiley face! (Draws Smiley Face) Stuart Scott: (Interrupting) We are now at the last play with the standings Teeker at 550 and Gibson at 600. We’re now at the bare end; a true test of skill, the key is to utilize the bonus squares. John Madden: Yeah, you have to use words like “Do”, “Re” and “Kah” kind of like Kah Kah! Stuart Scott: I’m beginning to think you illiterate John. Moving on back to the game, it’s pretty much all over. John Madden: Whoa Nelly, hold your horses Teeker has a word that can win the game that’s right “Satisfies” With a triple letter bonus on the “F” and a triple word score! And don’t forget the “S” on Americans. He just won himself the game! SHOWS TEEKER JUMPING OUT OF SEAT, AND GIBSON BEATING HIMSELF UP OVER THE LOSS Stuart Scott: Here’s Ron Teeker to talk about his great win tonight! John Madden: How’s it goin Ron great game out there! Teeker: Yeah, my strategy was pretty much to play defensive not let him get too many big words in, and it worked out pretty well! John Madden: Anything else you would like to say? Teeker: Yes, DENNIS KUCINICH FOR ’04 YEEEAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO (Rips off shirt that says “Kucinich ’04 on it” runs off stage) Stuart Scott: That’s great, it looks like this is the end of our program, see you next week on “Boggle: World Championship FADES OUT Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
