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.....Janet Jackson .....Horatio Sanz .....Jimmy Fallon Moolah Autosun.....Seth Meyers [Janet Jackson takes her place on home base with a large blur across her chest.] Janet Jackson: Thank you. Thank you very much. It's very exciting to be here. I love New York so much, and to be hosting Saturday Night Live is wonderful. Thank you. Everyone has been so wonderful and the atomosphere during rehearsals was so positive and upbeat. It's been a welcome respite, a really welcome respite, from the constant media scrutiny I've had to endure over the last few months. [Moolah Autosun, a Nigerian born cross country runner, runs across the stage.] Look, I am truly sorry for what happened during the Super Bowl half time show but enough is enough already. Did you know that they considered adding a seven second delay to tonight's show just because I was hosting? Yeah, it would have been 'Saturday Night (counts to 7 on her fingers) Live'. Anyways, we're live tonight so I guess people are finally realizing that I'm not some kind of crazed exhibitionist. (notices monitor) Wait a second...they've blurred out my entire chest? (saddened) I don't get it... [Enter Horatio Sanz] Horatio Sanz: Hello, Miss Jackson. Janet Jackson: Oh hi, Horatio. You can just call me Janet. Horatio Sanz: Unless I'm nasty...right (winking) Miss Jackson? Janet Jackson: Oh Horatio, you're so hilarious. I love this guy. (Janet Jackson hugs Horatio who seems really nervous.) Janet Jackson: So, what can I do for you, Horatio? Horatio Sanz: (looking at her torso) Uhh...I just wanted to let you know...that the reason they're blurring out your...uhhh bosom...is because...uhh...you're not wearing a top. Janet Jackson: (looks down) Omigosh! I can't believe this. I was so excited about coming out here I...I've had another wardrobe malfunction. [Janet Jackson acts as though she is actually topless and attempting to cover herself. Shot goes in tight so that only heads and shoulders are visible. Horatio quickly removes his t-shirt and gives it to her. Janet Jackson puts the t-shirt on.] Janet Jackson: Thank you so much, Horatio. You're such a gentlemen. Horatio Sanz: Aww shucks. [Shot widens to reveal Janet Jackson wearing a t-shirt and a topless Horatio Sanz with a blurred out chest.] Janet Jackson: Um, how come there's a blur across your chest now? Horatio Sanz: (taken aback) I...I don't know. I guess they're not allowed to show male nipples on NBC anymore... [Moolah Autosun runs across the stage, in the opposite direction, checking his watch as he passes by.] [Enter Jimmy Fallon.] Jimmy Fallon: Hey. Janet Jackson: Oh hi Jimmy. Jimmy Fallon: (starstruck) Hi Miss Jackson. Janet Jackson: Just call me Janet. Jimmy Fallon: Ah, but it's Miss Jackson if you're nasty. Right, (winking) Miss Jackson? Janet Jackson: (hugging Jimmy) Oh, you are so hilarious. Horatio Sanz: Pff whatever. He stole my bit. Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, well who stole your shirt dude? Why are you topless? Horatio Sanz: Shuttup, I had to give Miss Jackson my shirt because she forgot hers. And look... (pointing at monitor) the FCC is blurring out male nipples now. Jimmy Fallon: (looking at monitor) What? Really? [Moolah Autosun runs across the stage and pours water on his head, via a water bottle, as he passes.] [Jimmy Fallon removes his shirt. Several girls pass out. No blur appears.] Jimmy Fallon: Heh, what are you talking about, man? I don't see any blur on me. Horatio Sanz: Well..then...why are they blurring me out? [Awkward pause] Jimmy Fallon: Uhh...let's just go, Horatio. Bye, Miss Jackson. Horatio Sanz: Bye Miss, Jackson. Janet Jackson: See ya later guys. [Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz begin to walk off stage and as they walk Jimmy reaches into the blur to grab Horatio's pec.] Horatio Sanz: (slapping Jimmy Fallon's hand) Stop it, they're not toys. [Exit Horatio Sanz and Jimmy Fallon.] [Two men come onto the stage holding a ribbon. Moolah Autosun runs through the ribbon with arms held high and a 'cheer track' is played.] Janet Jackson: Alright, well let's get things started. We have a great show for you tonight. So stick around, we'll be right back. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
