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.....Uma Thurman Senator.....Fred Armisen .....Will Forte Tom Brokaw.....Chris Parnell .....Maya Rudolph [ int. Home Base, Studio 8H – Saturday Night ] V/O: Ladies and gentleman, Uma Thurman! [ Uma Thurman enters, dressed in that yellow and black track suit ] [ applause ] Uma Thurman: Thank you, thank you. It is great to be here, hosting the premiere of the mock season of Saturday Night Live! What a week! The cast is great, the writers have been wonderful. And you know, one of my favorite things about hosting tonight is that right now, all eyes are on me! This is my show, and nothing else is on but this. MadTV’s in reruns, the sports games are over—everyone with their TV on right now has it on to watch Saturday Night Live. Nothing else is… [ cut to NBC logo ] V/O: We are interrupting SNL to bring you to the ongoing ceremonies for former president Ronald Reagan. [ ext. podium – night ] [ Senator mournfully stands behind podium. Flowers, mourners ] Senator: [ slow, moving and heartfelt ] Ronald Reagan .. was a man. He was like .. no other man. He spoke .. words .. to other people .. that let them know what he was saying. I remember .. Ronald Reagan .. the president .. the man. I remember .. when he would speak .. words .. to other people. People like me .. or you .. or other people neither of us know .. or other people both of us know .. or other people I know that you don’t .. or other people you know but never introduced me to. Ronald Reagan. [ bows and steps down, near tears ] V/O: We now return to Saturday Night Live [ int. Home Base – Night ] [ Maya Rudolph joins Uma on stage ] Maya Rudolph: ..and that’s how you almost talked to me on the set of Gattaca. [ int. NBC Newsroom – Night ] [ Tom Brokaw shuffles papers, looks off-camera for a few seconds ] V/O: We regretfully interrupt SNL once again to bring you a news brief on former president Ronald Reagan. Tom Brokaw: About a week now since former president Ronald Reagan passed away and the mourners are still mourning. The former president Reagan remains deceased. The hostages are still returned from Iran and Ronald Reagan was still elected the fortieth president of the United States of America. Once again, the former president remains deceased. We’ll keep you updated should any new developments occur. V/O: We regretfully return now to SNL. [ int. Home Base – Night ] [ the SNL Band members are all sporting stumps spouting blood. Uma Thurman, now wielding a blade, has been joined by Will Forte ] Will Forte: [ defensive ] Honest! My name is Orville Willus Forte; you can’t shorten it to Bill! Uma Thurman: [ ferociously ] I’ll shorten it anyway I like. [ ext. Memorial – Night ] [ extreme close-up of a flower ] V/O: We must interrupt Saturday Night Live once again to bring you this important footage of a flower left for former president Ronald Reagan. [ shot holds for about ten seconds, slowly pans to another flower in the same bouquet, and then zooms in extremely close until one stamen fills the entire screen ] V/O: More important flower coverage later. Lorne’s threatening to quit again. [ int. Home Base – Night ] Uma Thurman: We have a rampaging show for you tonight! Melissa Auf der Maur is here to roar! So stick around, we’ll be right back! [ fade out ] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
