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Susan.....Scarlett Johansson Mike.....Seth Meyers Voice of Left Boob.....Will Forte Voice of Right Boob.....Fred Armisen (Enter Susan & Mike into the living room from front door of apartment) Susan: God, that sushi was great! Mike: Yeah, I know…we should eat there more often. (Susan & Mike sit down on the couch) (Mike kisses Susan) Mike: Sorry, I know my breath doesn’t smell great. Sushi does that. Susan: It’s okay. Neither does mine. (Mike kisses Susan again) Mike: Susan, how long have we been together? Susan: About 3 months. Mike: I was just think…we have been together awhile, and we haven’t yet named your breasts. Susan: Mike, I am appalled! Mike: What? Have I offended you? Every girlfriend I have had has let me name her boobs! Susan: Okay…Mike, I can be open-minded. What kind of name did you have in mind? Mike: How about calling the left one, righty and the right one, lefty. Susan: Why should we do that? Mike: Well, I have noticed that every time you are on top of me, the left one bounces to the right and the right one bounces to the left. Susan: Okay, Mike…maybe something else a little more creative. Mike: Okay… (Camera bans down to the woman’s chest) (Voices come shouting out of the woman’s cleavage) Voice of Left Boob: Hey Pal! (Camera cuts back to couple on the couch) Mike: Did you hear that? Susan: No. Voice of Left Boob: Hey Pal! Mike: It’s you! Your rack is talking. Voice of Left Boob: Hey Pal! We already have names! Voice of Right Boob: Yeah…my name is Doug. And I’d like my name to stay that way! Voice of Left Boob: Yeah…my name is Scotty…and no one is changing that! Voice of Right Boob: Hey Suzy! Why do you let him put ‘his guy’ on us all the time? You got to give us some respect down here! Otherwise…I don’t know. Voice of Left Boob: Suzy…just think, if you don’t respect us…in about 5 years, we may not be so kind…maybe will spend a little more quality time at a lower al…’tit’…tude! Mike: Wow…I’ve never seen talking tits, before! Voice of Left Boob: Hey Suzy! Down here! Voice of Right Boob: We need to get rid of this guy! Voice of Left Boob: He keeps staring at us. Voice of Right Boob: Yeah, for the last 3 months! Haven’t you noticed? Voice of Left Boob: Hey Suzy, do us a favor…cover us up when you are going out. Voice of Right Boob: Yeah…what are you trying to do…kill us? Voice of Left Boob: It’s the middle of the winter and you are walking outside like its spring break. Mike: Hey, fellas…can you be quiet? We are trying to finish our date, here. Voice of Right Boob: Are trying to shut us up? Voice of Left Boob: Asking us to be quiet…you’re going to try better than that. (Mike & Susan start making out) Voice of Right Boob: Don’t do it, Suzy! (Mike grabs Susan’s breasts) Voice of Both Boobs: No! (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
