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Announcer.....Don Pardo President Bush.....Will Forte White House Page.....Fred Armisen Announcer: The following is an address from the President of the United States, George W. Bush. (Camera fades close up on President Bush) President Bush: Good evening, my fellow Americans. The reason for my address tonight is quite simple. America, this fall, my third country rap album will be released. Now, America has always agreed with my way of running this country. Whether it’s the economic policy of taking over the nation of Iraq or the foreign policy of not allowing homosexuals the right to marry, so that is why I’d like to give the American people a Behind The Music – like look at my upcoming album. Now, 2002, I released my debut disc “Hos, Bongs & Drinkin’ Songs”. In 2003, I released my second album entitled, “Attack of The Clones”. Sales of my albums have been rather consistent. This year, with the election just around the corner, I feel this album has to be more powerful that my pervious attempts. So I figured, why not get some big names to appear on my disc? I got some of the biggest names in the music business, that are for my re-election to help me on this one, and I think I’ve got a hit on my hands. Recently, Bonnie Raitt decided to sing a song in Sweden and she dedicated it to me. The song was called “Your Good Thing Is About To End”. Bonnie, what are doing? That’s something you say when someone is about to be killed or is about to die. Come on! You know what Bonnie Raitt, I can make political statements, too! DJ, hit it! (Hip Hop Beat plays in the background; The President and White House Page start rapping) "America…if you vote John Kerry, you’re voting for a fig Newton ferry! Don’t ask, don’t tell…suits you well! John Kerry is a bum and John Edwards is dumb! You want a real president, trying to set some precedent… So America, don’t forget…Kerry and Edwards are a couple fag gets!" (Music stops, Bush and Page stop rapping) President Bush: America, thank you for listening. Don’t forget you can pick up my country/rap albums “Hos, Bongs & Drinkin’ Songs” and “Attack of The Clones” at all FYE records and at all Sam Goody locations. My double album will be dropping on Saturday, September 11, 2004. Yes, the third anniversary of the World Trade Center 9/11 thingy. Look for my double album, “My Confessions / My Life As You Know It” will be out on 9/11/04. It’s gonna have a huge list of guest singers. George Walker Bush’s third album dropping on 9/11/04! Good night, America and god bless. (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
