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Country Bumpkin.....Rob Riggle Country Bumpkin #2.....Will Forte Country Bumpkin #3.....Ben Afffleck Mama.....Maya Rudolph [ open on exterior country setting, sun rising, rooster crowing in background ] [ cut to interior farmhouse, Country Bumpkin climbing out of bed ] Country Bumpkin: Here in the Bluegrass State, we love our country mornings. And nothing slides me out of bed faster each morning than a pair of hot, sticky buns smeared with fresh Kentucky Jelly. [ holds up a jar marked "Kentucky Jelly," his thumb erroeneously covering the letters K-E-N-T-U-C ] Tastes so good, it practically sneaks up behind you. [ cut to Country Bumpkin #2 sitting on a well-dressed kitchen table ] Country Bumpkin #2: It can get lonely on the farm, and that's why Kentucky Jelly has been my main squeeze for years. [ holds up a tube marked "Kentucky Jelly," his thumb also erroeneously covering the letters K-E-N-T-U-C ] I'll smear it on anything that's lying on the table - doughnuts, bagels; hell, sometimes I'll even rub it on a big stick of cookie dough if I had enough to drink the night before. But what I really like is the Spicy Apple flavor. Kinda burns on contact, but tastes so great it makes me wanna come back around for seconds. Country Bumpkin #3: I've been using Kentucky Jelly to get me moving for years. In fact, I used it so much as a kid that my parents would wait until I went outside, then hid it in their bedroom just to make sure there was plenty left to go around. But now I'm a grown man. So, why don't you be good, Mama, and open that back door? I've got a jar of Kentucky Jelly, and I'm coming inside to stay. [ also holds up a jar marked "Kentucky Jelly," his thumb erroeneously covering the letters K-E-N-T-U-C ] Mama: Don't be greedy, son. We've got plenty of Kentucky Jelly to go around. Bagels are ready; dig in, everybody! [ all of the country bumpkins chew into their bagels, and rub the jelly off their fingers with swift up-and-down motions. "Mmm-mmm-mmming" with delight ] Announcer: Kentucky Jelly. It's finger-licking good. Ask for it by name. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
