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Sen. Dan Higgins.....Fred Armisen
[ int. Studio – Day ] [ Sen. Dan Higgins stands before gray curtain in typical cheap studio style ] Higgins: Hi, I’m Senator Dan Higgins. For the past six years, I’ve been your senator, fighting for your causes up on Capitol Hill. As voting season approaches, I just wanted to let you know what we have accomplished. [ pan shot of a busy train station ] Higgins (V/O): As I promised in the previous election, I cross-motioned for several trial redrafts of key conglomerated refinancing bills under the provisions of the DSF & LG act. [ pan shot of a busy factory ] Higgins (V/O): Separatist denial foreclosures were brought to dissuasive retroactive conditioning and then gritigiounessly decompartamentalized into rexterity and roll-over fractions. [ pan shot of a busy park ] Higgins (V/O): And plausibility frequerity bittedilation rights? Let’s just say you can sleep well at night forgetting about those. [ pan shot of a busy quarry ] Higgins (V/O): Vote for me this November and I’ll insure that piltenance and vibrextion contrajunction resilement remains a thing of the past. [ studio ] Higgins: I’m Senator Dan Higgins, and I approve this message. [ fade ] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
