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Lars Talley.....Rob Riggle
[ ext. Amusement Park – Day ] [ Lars Talley stands, surrounded by wife, two kids, family dog ] Talley: Hello, I’m Lars Talley, and I’m running against Dan Higgins for a seat on the U.S. Senate. Unlike Sen. Higgins, I consider myself a man of the people. I’ll be fighting for the people’s needs, and not those of vested corporate interests. [ close-up of child smiling while eating cotton candy ] Talley (V/O): Higgins wants to discuss permissive and directrix tariff restructuralization, and I say no more. The people of this fine state will not stand for these ill-conceived detrimination tracts for global fiscalence and authorigen pacts. [ close-up of child smiling while riding mini-coaster ] Talley (V/O): Look at the numbers. Consumer structuralists show that environmental and residential counter-halogenation has plummeted seventy six Smith-Falcon points. [ close-up of child smiling while watching juggler ] Talley (V/O): Agricultural tertiation and reminiscent dephosphorylation has halted and our debit-grounded histidination system is running at just thirty percent capacity. [ close-up of Talley ] Talley: Don’t you think we can do better than that? I’m Lars Talley and I approve this message. [ fade ] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
