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Ruth Wann.....Queen Latifah Shopper.....Kenan Thompson News Anchor.....Amy Poehler Rocket Scientist.....Will Forte [ int. Supermarket – Day ] [ Ruth Wann stands with Shopper ] Wann: Hi, my name is Ruth Wann. I’m running for senator as an independent. I feel the people of this great state need a senator they can actually understand. Here’s an ordinary citizen, just like you, out shopping who has no idea what Talley and Higgins are talking about. Shopper: Hi, I’m just an ordinary citizen, just like you, out shopping and I have no idea what Talley and Higgins are talking about. [ int. Channel 3 News Set – Day ] [ Wann and News Anchor sit to the side of the main set, amidst the station’s cameras ] Wann: I’m here with Channel 3 News Anchor, Marsha Candyfield. Now Marsha, you recently had to interview Lars Talley. Tell us about that. News Anchor: I just couldn’t figure out what he was saying, with all those complicated words and phrases. It was the first time I ever used cue cards for an interview. [ int. Laboratory – Day ] [ Wann stands with Rocket Scientist ] Wann: A prominent local rocket scientist, Dr. Gootie has advanced degrees in Aeronautical Engineering, Biochemistry, Medicine, International Economics, Political Science and Astrophysics. His current pursuit is an advanced degree in Philology, the study of words, and he is writing a thesis entitled, “Every Word in the English Language.” Rocket Scientist: It is in my estimation that both Talley and Higgins have ceased to use actual words, and have begun to create phrases and sentences with no actual meaning to confuse voters. There is a good chance they have even created new grammatical rules just so they can say half of the words they come up with. [ int. Hallway – Day ] Wann: We’ve had enough of the playground language of Talley and Higgins. Let’s vote with our ears open this time. So, if like most people, you are for the reveloceration of both reflux and conflux thermolitigious technology sectors, without the sharps cuts to pre-discounted specifilication transdates, you’ll stand beside me, Ruth Wann, this November. [ cut to graphic: “Vote Ruth Wann” ] Wann (V/O): I’m Ruth Wann and I approfiscate this message. [ fade out ] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
