|
Robert Downey, Jr. Sings Torch Songs
written by: Mark Jennings Reese II
Robert Downey, Jr.....Fred Armisen
Queen Latifah.....Kenan Thompson
Tracy Gold.....Rachel Dratch
Courtney Love.....Molly Shannon (cameo)
Mary-Kate Olsen.....Tina Fey
Ashley Olsen.....Maya Rudolph
Macaulay Culkin.....Will Forte
Michael Jackson.....Amy Poehler
Tommy Lee.....Seth Meyers
.....Jesse Camp
(Open on a Hollywood bar)
(Camera fades in close on Robert Downey, Jr. at the piano begin to play a ballad)
(Robert begins to play what seems like “Piano Man” by Billy Joel; Robert starts singing)
Robert Downey, Jr.:
"Well it’s just another night in Hollywood and all the celebs are making a mistake,
Queen Latifah did TAXI with Jimmy Fallon and that’s a career choose she wishes she didn’t make.
She said, “Robert, sing a song for me, because I feeling so bad,
It’s like the world is up against me, do you think I should go back to rap?”
Lalela Lalelaa Lala Lalelaa La
Sing us a song, Robert Downey Jr.
Sing us a torch song, tonight.
Well we’re not in the mood for one of your movies,
But you’ve got us feeling…
Now Tracy Gold is from that show Growing Pains,
She’s been drink since a quarter to 3,
And she’s plead not guilty and no, she won’t sleep with me,
But something tells me, tonight she will.
She says, “Robert, I believe my career is killing me
As I haven’t worked since ‘93
Well, I sure I could go into porno,
But I don’t think that would work for me.
Lalela Lalelaa Lala Lalelaa La
Now Courtney Love’s got some problems,
But I don’t have to tell you that,
She’s drunk and she’s stoned and she wants to go home,
But she’s got no place to sleep.
And the Olsen Twins are stoned in the corner
And Macaulay’s being molested by Michael Jackson
Yes, they’re doing something called LSD,
But it’s better than a made for TV movie.
Sing us a song, Robert Downey Jr.
Sing us a torch song, tonight.
Well we’re not in the mood for one of your movies,
But you’ve got us feeling…
It’s a pretty motley crew here in Hollywood,
And Tommy Lee gives me a smile,
Because I know why he was at a college football game in the marching band,
It’s a reality show for TV
And Jesse Camp’s hair looks like a carnival,
And Tracy Gold needs another beer,
And they sit at the bar and put movie script by my car,
And say, “Man, I loved you in Less Than Zero!”
Lalela Lalelaa Lala Lalelaa La
Sing us a song, Robert Downey Jr.
Sing us a torch song, tonight.
Well we’re not in the mood for one of your movies,
But you’ve got us feeling…
(Fade out)
Rate or review this
sketch | Prior comments
|
|
Site hosted by jt.org | 10/23/04
|