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.....Lorne Michaels .....Luke Wilson [ open on Lorne Michaels standing outside Studio 8-H, holding tight to a glass of Chardonney ] Lorne Michaels: [ looking offscreen ] Are we on? Cue the music. Jingle: [ 70's radio style ] "And now! Here's.. Lorrrrrrrrne Michaellllllllllsss!!" Lorne Michaels: [ looks straight into the camera ] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Lorne Michaels, multi-task genius behind "Saturday Night Live", a man of many titles, but all you need to know is that I wield power over the dominion that is Studio 8-H. For ten seasons, "Saturday Night Live" has squared off against "MadTV" in the ratings. And for the past three years, we've squared off against the rugged online amateurs at Saturday Night You. We've tried to have their domain removed from the internet, not because we're scared that their material is better than ours, but because we don't like how smug they act about it. But the more we pick at them, the longer they remain, like a scab that grows back on the skin, festers and spreads to other parts of the body. Instead of fighting their presence, we've chosen to give in. And so, tonight, the losers at Saturday Night You celebrate 100 fake episodes of our program. That total includes twenty-four extra-fake episodes written over the past few summers, which further proves how minute a social life these would-be comedy writers possess. Oh sure, the writing at "Saturday Night Live" hasn't exactly been exemplary lately, and perhaps we could use the raw talents of these amateurs. But that's not likely to happen because I'm Tina Fey's bitch, not the other way around. I don't remember when I lost control of my vision, so let's just leave it at that. Luke, did you want to say a few words? Luke Wilson: Certainly, Lorne. [ Wilson walks on stage, to thunderous applause from the audience ] Luke Wilson: Thank you. It's great to be here for real this time. As you might recall, I mock-hosted a couple of summers ago, and I had a really great time. Lorne Michaels: How is that possible? The experience was fake. Luke Wilson: I know, just play along with me, Lorne. The point is, they had the foresight to allow me to host "Saturday Night Live" over a year before you ever asked me to. Lorne Michaels: Luke, there wasn't time. I wanted to have Lindesy Lohan and the Olsen Twins host before they got older and less pretty. NBC favors ratings over talent - why do you think they fired Kelsey Grammer? Luke Wilson: Well, I guess I'm just used to proving my salt in the acting world, Lorne. I may not look good in a bikini, but I can earn a standing ovation from my audience. I hope your writers don't let me down. They have to be as creative as the amateurs at Saturday Night You if I'm to look good tonight. You understand what I'm saying? Lorne Michaels: I'm not sure I do. How are their writers better than ours, Luke? Luke Wilson: Well, for one thing, their writers let me do cool things, like say: "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!" Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
