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.....Luke Wilson .....Owen Wilson Don Pardo: Ladies and gentlemen.. Luke Wilson! [ Luke Wilson runs onto Home Base as the audience screams his presence yet again ] Luke Wilson: Thank you, thank you, thank you - and it's for real this time! Well, as you all know, tonight is quite a milestone for "Saturday Night Live". That's right - say it with me - I'm the first host since Queen Latifah who was actually born in this country. [ polite laughter from audience ] Now, that's the way to get a show started. Anyway, I guess this is the big Thanksgiving episode, a great time to get together with family, and I'm sure it's no secret that I'm very close with my family. [ suddenly, Luke's oafish older brother, Owen Wilson, stumbles onto the stage ] Owen Wilson: Yea-heh! Luke and I see each other every day, ladies and gentlemen! It's awesome! [ Luke doesn't appear amused by Owen's sudden presence ] Hey, bro, tell them about that new movie we're doing together: "The Wendell Baker Story." Luke Wilson: It's true that I'll be the "star" of that movie, Owen.. but you're not even credited with a role, according to the Internet Movie Database. Owen Wilson: What's that, like, the internet? Luke Wilson: Yes. You know that little box in the garage where you download all the car-racing games? Owen Wilson: Aw, yea! Hey, don't sell my knowledge short - I also use that thing to download naked pictures of Drew Barrymore! [ audience is ecstatic ] Hey, didn't we do a movie with her? Luke Wilson: I did a few movies with Drew, yes, I even dated her for a while. You kind of just hung around the sets and bothered us during production. Owen Wilson: Hey, Andrew's backstage, you want me to bring him out? Luke Wilson: Andrew is not backstage, Owen. Unlike you, he has a life. Owen Wilson: Hey, come on! He's been in more of your movies than I have! [ Luke gives Owen the evil eye ] Okay, you're right, Andrew's not backstage. But he said he'll see us next Thursday. Luke Wilson: Fine. Owen Wilson: Hey Luke, can I tell the audience about how my nose got messed up? [ Luke looks at Owen as if to say, "No...but I know you're going to tell them anyway" ] Owen Wilson: So, Luke and I are in the backyard playing football and Luke throws this cannon right at my face. It was like something out of the Brady Bunch...and folks, that's why I talk all weird all the time...it's like Adam Sandler said in that one crappy flick he did, "Little Nicky". Luke Wilson: Owen, what did Adam Sandler say in "Little Nicky"? Owen Wilson: One time...my brother hit me in the face with a shovel...that's why I talk like this. Luke Wilson: Okay, that was great, Owen...but this monologue is dragging on...kind of like you in that movie with Morgan Freeman. Owen Wilson: I hear ya' loud and clear, bro. [ to the audience ] We have a great show for you tonight. U2 is here -- Luke Wilson: No you don't. [ proceeds to punch Owen in the nose; audience cheers ] Thank you! We have a great show for you tonight...the gods of it all...U Mother Truckin' 2 are here. I'm here...and I promise my brother Owen will not be in ANY sketches tonight. We'll be right back! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
