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Man #1.....Luke Wilson Man #2.....Darrell Hammond Man #3.....Horatio Sanz Man #4.....Rob Riggle [ int. Bathroom ] [ Man #1 is inspecting his hair in the mirror ] Man #1: I used to have dandruff. Bad. When I started to be the butt of jokes by the Channel 8 weather team, I knew I had to take action. And then I found this, new Saber Advanced, a powerful, daily dandruff shampoo. [ int. Kitchen ] [ Man #2 enters through front door wearing a hat ] Man #2: I used the standard 2 in 1 shampoo for years, but then I noticed my hair was growing thinner. I needed something to help me with my receding hair line, but I didn’t want to have to buy a separate bottle. That’s when I found Saber Advanced, which combines a classic 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner with a revolutionary hair-loss medicine. [ int. Den ] [ Man #3 eats popcorn on the couch ] Man #3: As I started getting older, I became concerned about my cholesterol. That’s when I found Saber Advanced, the only shampoo proven to help reduce cholesterol. [ int. Bathroom ] [ Man #1 is caught making faces in the mirror, and then returns to more hair inspection ] Man #1: Tired of buying different hair products? Want one daily shampoo that handles everything? Get Saber Advanced, the world’s first 37 in 1 shampoo. [ int. Shower ] [ Man #1 is seen lathering shampoo in his hair in slow-mo while Saber Advanced’s many uses, shown in caps, scroll across the screen ] V/O: New 37 in 1 contains ingredients to SHAMPOO, CONDITION, take care of DANDRUFF, STOP HAIR-LOSS, LOWER CHOLESTEROL, kill pesky TERMITES, FRESHEN BREATH, grant minor TELEKINETIC POWERS, HIGHLIGHT, LOWLIGHT, protect against COMPUTER VIRUSES, FRY EGGS, FUNKIFY, RESTORE WOOD. Or, EARN YOUR DEGREE in: ACCOUNTING, ARCHERY, COMMUNICATIONS, DINOSAURS, GUN SAFETY, MEAT PACKING, TECHNICAL STUFF, and VCR REPAIR. [ ext. Marble Steps ] [ Man #4, in business suit, coat flung over shoulder, stands firmly with incredible hair ] Man #4: My hair is very important to me, because I am a politician. I can’t afford to have a bad hair day. That’s why I use Saber Advanced. Not only is it the best shampoo on the market; it’s the only one that gives me the power to identify commies. [ shot of Saber Advanced on watery background ] V/O: Why buy another bottle? Get new 37 in 1 Saber Advanced and see what your old shampoo is missing. [ fade out ] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
