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Customer 1.....Horatio Sanz Customer 2.....Amy Poehler Announcer.....Don Pardo (The scene begins with a rather large man walking in a park.) Announcer: Are you glad you don't look like this? Or are you trying to make sure that it doesn't get worse than this? Well from the makers of Slim Fast, comes our newest dieting formula, Pound Killer! (The scene changes to a close up of the large man's face.) Customer 1: Before I started the Pound Killer diet I weighed over 270 pounds, now I am happy to say I weigh a nice 196 pounds, thanks Pound Killer! (The camera pulls out to show that the man has stubs for arms. The scene then changes to a animated picture of a human body Announcer: The Pound Killer is a new innovative diet that is also very simple. You simply weigh which part of your non-essential body parts is the heaviest and cut it off! Its so simple we don't know why we didn't think of it sooner. And don't forget, a large dosage of morphine is included when you join Pound Killers as our free gift to you. (The scene changes to a woman's head lying sideways on the floor.) Customer 2: My friends always told me I looked good but I knew I could do better and thanks to Pound Killer now I can fit into any size pants! Thanks Pound Killer! (A couple of moments pass as the woman's head lies down trying to move itself.) Customer 2: A little help here?! Announcer: Pound Killers! When rational situations aren't enough! End Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
