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Fan.....Chris Parnell The Devil.....Will Forte .....Tina Fey .....Amy Poehler .....Rachel Dratch .....Maya Rudolph (Fade in) (Close up of goonie looking dude, in his 30’s, watching TV in his boxers) (Sound coming off the TV) Announcer: (muffled from the TV) From Studio 8H in Rockefeller Center, it's "Weekend Update," with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler! Fan: God, 2 hot chick, who read the fake news, they are sexy…they are smart and I know I could get them if they weren’t married. I’d give anything for a 3 way with the Weekend Update chicks. (A cloud of smoke flashes in the room all of a sudden; The Devil appears) The Devil: Oh really! Fan: Who the hell are you? The Devil: Just call me, the guy who is about to make your dream come true! Fan: What do I call you? The Devil: Just call me The Devil, damn it! (Under his breathe) These douche bags are getting less and less intelligent. Fan: So you are here, so I can have a 3 way with the chicks from Weekend Update? The Devil: That’s correct. Now, are you willing to give up your eternal soul for sex with Tina and Amy? Fan: Yes, I am. (The Devil pulls out a packet of contracts from his bag) The Devil: Good. Now, just sign this contract, agreeing that you are giving up the rights to your eternal soul for sex with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. (Fan signs the contract) Good. Your wish is my command! (A cloud of smoke flashes in the room all of a sudden; Tina Fey and Amy Poehler appear) Amy Poehler: I’m Amy Poehler… Tina Fey: And I’m Tina Fey, and we are ready to have a 3 way with you! Fan: Nice! Take off your tops! (Tina and Amy take off their top clothing, revealing them in their bras) Wow…I never realize how small your breasts are! Ah, Devil, can I have a SNL chick with bigger cans? The Devil: Okay… (Another cloud of smoke flashes in the room all of a sudden; Rachel Dratch appears) Fan: Rachel Dratch? Devil, can I have Maya, too? The Devil: Why the…me, would you want her? Fan: I like black chicks! The Devil: Okay… (Another cloud of smoke flashes in the room all of a sudden; Maya Rudolph appears) Maya Rudolph: Hey, you…let’s do this…but before we do that, I must tell you, I’m only half black! Fan: Well fine, I want to sex with the half of you that is black! Ladies, let’s go in my bedroom and do this thing! (The Fan, Tina, Amy, Rachel and Maya walk into the next room) (Cue Music – Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On”) (Stage lights fade to black; Spotlight on “The Devil”) The Devil: Hello, I’m The Devil. If you are willing to give up your eternal soul, please feel free to call me at the number flashing below. (SUPER: Flashing # - “1-900-HELL-LOW”) Anything in your hearts desire, I can do…all you gotta do is give up your soul. (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
