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Mr. Halprin...Seth Meyers Chuck...Topher Grace Fred...Horatio Sanz Lisa...Maya Rudolph Steve...Finesse Mitchell Kelly...Rachel Dratch Male Student...Fred Armisen Female Student...Amy Poehler (Mr. Halprin, a calm and nurturing man, enters classroom filled with several adult students) Mr. Halprin: Hello, class and welcome again to VCR troubleshooting. As many of you may know, VCRs are obsolete when compared to the DVD markets, but are generally used for recording purposes. This course is to help you gain the ability to work the VCR and record videotapes. Chuck: That would be great. Mr. Halprin: Yes, it would. Now, it is time for our exercises. Chuck: I'm Chuck. Fred: Fred. Lisa: I'm Lisa. Steve: I'm Steve. Kelly: Kelly. Mr. Halprin: Good. Lisa: I'm still not sure what that has to do with anything. Saying our names every week. Mr. Halprin: That is merely to show me that you are all not completely retarded. Lisa: Hey, you can't call us retarded. Mr. Halprin: No, that you are not retarded. Fred: Yeah, listen to the man. This guy could save your life. Mr. Halprin: Thank you, Fred. Lisa, I apologize if I offended you, but VCRs are dreaded machines, and I need to know if all of you can handle them. Chuck: I heard that someone could record something, and watch something different at the same time. Mr. Halprin: Well, Chuck, I am afraid you are going way to far into the realm of VCRs. That will be later in the year. Chuck: But I want to tape my favorite show, "Wings." I can't get enough of it. Fred: Couldn't you watch a different TV while you were taping it? Chuck: I don't have another TV. Lisa: I own three TVs. Kelly: You could buy another TV. Mr. Halprin: Now class... Steve: Couldn't you watch it on a different TV? Fred: I said that. Kelly: I want to learn. Mr. Halprin: OK, OK, calm down now. I think we should begin what we talked about at the end of last class. Steve: We talked about how the time works. Mr. Halprin: Ah, yes now the clock should not be flashing 12:00 on your VCR, especially if you are recording something. Fred: What should it be flashing? Mr. Halprin: Well, it shouldn't be flashing anything. You see, you go to the menu, click on TIME and put in the correct time. It is that simple. Lisa: It sounds a little too simple. (two people walk in the classroom, guy dressed in Don Johnson/Miami Vice suit with a girl dressed in Cyndi Lauper outfit) Male Student: This must be it, with all the VCRs. Female Student: Come on, let's sit down. Mr. Halprin: Oh, I think you want "Coked-Out Folks Coping Without Living In The Hot Spinning 80's." Down the hall two doors to your left. Male Student: Sorry. Female Student: Do they have to say the entire course name? It's...it's just embarrassing. (both leave) Mr. Halprin: Now, class, I am going to show you a video...that I recorded. (class gasps) Mr. Halprin: Oh yeah! Believe it. I recorded Late Night With Conan O'Brien to demonstrate that it can be done. Chuck: Wow! I saw a guy that recorded something once, and he wasn't even in the room when it happened. He was pretty upset when he saw me though. I probably should've let myself in through the door and not the window, and I probably should've known who he was personally. Lisa: Who was the guy? Chuck: I think it was Pat Sajak. Kelly: He's great. Mr. Halprin: OK, class, here we go. (video shows tiger eating bloody dead zebra) Kelly: That Conan is a genius. Steve: His humor is surprisingly fresh. Mr. Halprin: No, no, no. This isn't it. What happened? Steve: Was the VCR plugged into the TV? Mr. Halprin: Of course... Lisa: Did you put in the right channel? Mr. Halprin: (getting angrier) Yes. Kelly: Did you put in the right time? Steve: Did you enter it in the right night? Fred: Did the tiger kill the zebra? Mr. Halprin: (screaming) I DON'T KNOW!!! (class backs off) Mr. Halprin: I'm sorry, but I guess the myth has become a truth. VCRs are tough gadgets to handle. I must go home and bone up on my VCR skills. Chuck: We know, Mr. Halprin. This is a challenging subject, but we know you will pull through and teach us! Fred: Are you supposed to have the TV on when recording? Lisa: Does it have to be on channel 3? Kelly: Does the VCR have to be off before the recording starts? Steve: Do babies come from a man and woman having sex? (Mr. Halprin covers his ears and begins fidgeting with the VCR and TV, trying to figure out what went wrong, fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
