|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Spokesman.....Will Forte
[open on a spokesman walking around an empty airport] Spokesman: Hello, all of you. I'm a representative of the new airline that has just finished negiotiations today and on behalf of the merger I have been selected to inform the public about it. You see, due to advertisement restrictions in almost every form of media, our companies cannot sell the product to the masses so the creative team from all three companies have put their heads together and came up with United Tobacco Airlines. You see, we can't sell our "product" but we have every right to advertise our plane ads so come on down and take a flight today! We have rock bottom prices $40 a child, $235 an adult and for your comfort every plane will be equipped a smoking and chain smoking section. Also, only for the first ten flights, kids cough free! Now, you may not find me the best ad man for this spot and when this was originally thought of we wanted the Marlboro Man but unfortunately he's passed on, lung cancer or something I don't know, but you know if he were still alive today, he'd be flying with us! So please come on out because we have something for everyone like soon we'll be instituting gambling and hookers. Of course, we take your safety as our number one priority and that's why we've just installed the latest antishock technology on all our planes but oxygen masks, we don't have 'em and never will! Instead, if something stressful occurs during the flight a smooth pack of DuMaurier will drop down to help you cope because believe me, those masks just get in the way! Anyways, come on out, we open this Monday and we're located just outside of Woodstock so come and book your flights today because if you think this is a good idea, you're just the kind of loser we're looking for! Thank you! [SUPER: United Tobacco Airlines, Remember you can't spell "tarmac" without tar! [smiley face]] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
